Money + Art

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“Beautiful work!” Seal said to an artist who had a booth at APE.

“Yeah, but I don’t do it full-time,” he countered, “I’m not a professional yet,” he flustered. “I’m not PAID for it yet.” Seal heard the door of a heart slammed shut.

“But your work is beautiful!” She protested. “Whether you are paid for it or not, it doesn’t take away the fact that it’s still beautiful and people notice it.” (A young couple lingers around his table and drops $7 for one of his prints. I look at him in confirmation, see?

“I guess,” he said with a sigh, “but I’m still not paid the ‘big bucks’ and uh, this is a local show, once I get into a National or International gallery, then . . .  then . . . “ he shook his finger at me and trailed off. The entire convention center became very boisterous. I am left alone to my thoughts and I suddenly become very angry.

“Then . . .” WHAT? You can finally believe me? Only when you’re paid the “big bucks” or in a “big institution somewhere” then you will believe that your work is actually beautiful as people think it is? When you get paid and other institutions recognize you, THEN you can finally embrace yourself as an artist? Or “better” yet as a professional artist? You are waiting around for some big institution or high-end client to swoop down from somewhere to come “save you,” and lavish over you art, especially when art is very personal and very subjective and money and pricing proned to inflation, you are waiting and waiting for someone outside of yourself to say that you are a professional artist?

Dude, you’re living in the future that may or may not come while ignoring all the people who are stopping by your table to admire your work. Whether people pay $3 for your art of $30,000 – it is still beautiful.

Don’t discount your artwork! Just because it doesn’t readily translate to big monetary equivalent.

Money is very very subjective. At craftshows, we’ve had “rich” costumers throw their crisp $20 bucks at us for a tshirt, vs. a young boy who was clutching his only $20 allowance and after circling the entire craftshow and our booth 3-4 times, he wholeheartedly gave us his entire savings for a “Create or Die” tshirt. Even though both instances were a purchase of $20, that 20 was worth a world apart difference to us.

It took Seal a while to learn that money or big institutions will never equal to the value of one’s art.

Most everyone I know, including myself, has a money problem. Artists often have double the trouble because we equate money with recognition and value of our work. Given all the myths we’ve heard about being an artist, it’s no wonder why it’s hard to untangle: “art doesn’t make money,” “if you make money as an artist, you’re a sell out,” “art for art’s sake” (don’t pay for it?), “money is greed” “if you become too tall, they’ll cut you at the base” “starving artist” “art is superfluous” “art is selfish” etc etc. It doesn’t help to have a society that is rather unaffected or diminishing towards artists. While other occupations usually have a standard starting pay (think doctors, mechanics, etc.), an artist can be paid anywhere from nothing (a free service) to $100,000 or more for an art piece.

Of course, it’s a challenge to know your true value as an artist. But let me tell you a secret, money isn’t it. Money will never equal the value of your art.

For a long time, especially throughout art school, Seal kept hoping that a big studio would pick her up. Then . . . then . . . she would be recognized for her work. Then . . . only then . . . will people value her. It was the magic pill. Suddenly, if she worked at a big institution, everything will be solved: she would always be creative, she wouldn’t be proned to roller coaster rides of artistic blocks. She would have peer recognition and money (something she didn’t grow up with) and could buy all the reference books and canvases she wants (instead of scouring for found objects, antiques, and wood to paint on). Then, she would be paid the “big bucks” and be labeled a “professional artist.” Then . . . then . . . the prince comes in a magic pumpkin carriage . . .

But this is not reality.

Whether you work full-time, part-time, contract, intership, or as a hobby in art . . . You will still have to deal with artist blocks – it’s part of the process. Whether you are at a big studio, small studio, or in the humble corner of your apartment making art . . . you will have to deal with the day to day frustrations and existential crises of being an artist, you will always have deadlines to meet and critics to face, you will always have to feel unsure when you put your work up. You will still probably have to deal with naysayers and family members who may or may not support you. Whether you are showered with praise, some or not at all, or whether you are paid big, small, or none at all . . . at the end of the day, you will still have to face the biggest challenge – yourself. Do you value yourself as an artist? If money were non-existent and you were the only living human in the world, would you still create art? Would you have fun doing it? Is your current project challenging you as a person?  Does it makes a statement about you as a person? Are you SATISFIED? FULFILLED?

When Seal takes away the myth of getting paid the big bucks and being in a big institution, she finds that she is just very happy to be creating art. She works on an independent film set with inspiring and creative people. Her voice is heard by the director and she can make positive contributions on the project and the people around her. At night, she explores her paintings further. Her limitations on money actually help her to be more creative, as she is forced to find alternative surfaces and new ways to approach a painting. She finds rare antique wood and unthinkable items to incorporate into her art and has expanded beyond the canvas. And people actually like her works on wood better than on canvas as they all have unique grain and texture. She is learning multiple ways to tell stories, to make art, and find her inner voice. She paints and creates comics as she wants. And she’s surrounded by warm encouraging friends who are excited for her and her art. She is in the journey towards knowing herself. She no longer lives in the future, but at the present moment enjoying her life and art-making.

Because the artist at APE is still waiting around for his “big chance,” when it actually comes in the form of people complimenting and buying art from his table, he didn’t notice that he is currently living his dreams, making art and being PAID for it. It was as if he was living on the ground breathing his dreams of being an artist, but still looking hopefully at the sky for something else. He’s waiting around for someone, something outside of himself to ordain him as a professionally paid artist. In the end, it’s not really money or big institution he wants. What he actually wants is someone, something “out there” to shut the critics in his brain and answer the burning question, “am I good enough as an artist?”

And no amount of money or outside recognition will ever fill up that hole, but yourself.

You are enough. You can begin it now. As you are.

Don’t wait for your life to start, to value yourself as an artist. Don’t give power to something outside of yourself to make or break your artistic endeavors. Don’t wait for the big bucks or the big institutions. Because at the end of the day, do you want to create or not? Are you having fun or not? Do you respect yourself as an artist or not?

Sure, having money is nice. And working in a big institution – if it fosters you and is aligned with your values and priorities – is nice too! It’s more than ok to want money or full time work as an artist. And you should definitely be paid for work that you do. And if you live on this earth with other people, you cannot avoid acquiring and spending money on something. We all need shelter, food, and ways to make our art, and even indulgences. But money or big institution should never be the measuring stick for satisfaction, and can never substitute the longing for the final verdict of  “I am a worthy artist.”

If you are living and breathing, you are worthy already. If you are creating, you are worthy already. So start now. Begin and live in the present moment. And create. Live your life because you are a million bucks already.

Overcoming Artist Block: Shame

When I was in high school, I told my school counselor that I wanted to be an art director. She handed me some pamphlets for technical schools around the city and with pity in her voice, suggested that I should consider nursing or being a mechanic.

I tried not to listen. I took my very first film class at city college and made my very first film project. Looking back, it was the beginning of my experimentation with cinematography and the bud of my love for storytelling. The film I made was a 10 minute clip of a "cat-and-mouse" chase between a spy agent and ninja thief.

Granted it was my first film, the editing was a bit crude,  and I was on a steep learning curve. . .but
I was very proud that I had created something out of nothing. I had created a story out of 8mm tape and a camera. I showed it to my boyfriend at the time.

He laughed. He rewinded the tape and laughed again. The sound from my film was drowned by his laughter. My film wasn't supposed to be funny at all. "You've got a long way to go," he added.

I tried not to listen. My film teacher acknowledged my camera skills. He wanted me to help him with his storyboards for a commercial pitch he was putting together for "famous tv executives." I thought it was my chance to break into the field and learn from someone who was a professional. Then I found out that he was fired from his last studio, had to take up a gig teaching at city college, and was desperate to break in again. He also made a comment about the color of my skirt. Was it my talent and help did he want or was it something else?

I tried not to listen.

Though I kept getting back up, each incidents chiseled at my budding young artist self. By the time I realized what was happening, it was too late. I was blocked. I hadn't picked up a camera in seven years.

Most artist blocks are grown from toxic shame. As artists we are often shamed into silence. "You think yourself an artist? Don't make me laugh." "Just who do you think you are?!" "How dare you disturb the lineage of doctors, bankers, lawyers, etc in our family?" "How dare you write and paint stories about your own life, think of your parents!" "how dare you make that? (it's awful, lacks substance, it's kitch)" "How dare you make anything at all?" "How dare you make monsters? That's creepy and no one will want it hung in their living room."  "How dare you paint in that weird style when James Jean is what's in." "What will the neighbors say about you going to art school?"

Being artists often means being visible. We are bringing to light stories about ourselves, our cat, our mom, our neighbors, about our country, the state of human beings, the world, things that people don't want to hear. Don't want to see. And being visible scares people. We "draw from our own experience and we draw our experience" (Julia Cameron) and people often don't want to face the truth of what we are projecting in our art. So they try to sweep it under the rug. With a smirk, a scoff, a pity, a laugh, with some under-the-breath words that are painful to feel.

So we hide ourselves. For our own safety, we bundle up our artist self and hide her under the bed until it is safe to come back out. We lock her up and throw away the key for until when we think society will be ready for us. And so we wait.

We wait. The artist self knows the waiting game all too well. Wait until I make that big break, then people will recognize me. They will value me. They will not dare treat me like that again. Wait until my parents accept my art, then I can become an artist. Wait until the kids are old enough, then I can take some classes at city college. Wait till I have more money for a better art equipment, then I can finally tell my grand story. Wait till I polish my skills in secret, so that he may never laugh at me again.

But the problem is, it is no one's job to give us the signal that it is safe now. The power is in our hands. We cannot wait until our mothers, uncles, lovers, teachers or the art world recognize us and allow us to make our art. The signal may never come. Your artist self may be dead by the time we open up the closet again. So it's time to take her out. Give her a big hug. Assure her that she is safe to make art now. She will be protected from nay-sayers. That she has the power, right now, to choose yes to life. Yes to art. She has the power. And she does dare disturb the universe. She dares to make art.

And you can too. Shame can be broken when the experience is brought to light, in full honesty, to supporters, therapists, or artist-friendly people like Monkey + Seal who understand the pain of creating. The doubts and the intimacy of making art needs to continually be nurtured. Take a step forward today, even if it is awkward, even if you've forgotten how to draw, write, knit, make one small commitment to re-awaken your dreams within. It is never too late. And you are not alone. You can do this. You have the power to step forward.

Top 3 Reasons To Be A Solo Artist

Some say that it's better to go it alone in life.  After all, you only have yourself to take care of, nothing to hold you down, and plus you get to take all the credit for yourself.  Who would want to find a close-knit, supportive community of artists?  Who wants artist friends or a support group of others who have been there and done that?

We assume you don't, so today, we wanted to bring you the top 3 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Find An Artist Community.

1.  You Don't Want To Get Far

Finding a community of artists, whether it's in person or via online, usually helps you create connections with other artists.  Monkey + Seal have found that through these connections, we've been able to both help careers along, as well as be helped ourselves.  Through our networks, we've found jobs, gigs, cool new opportunities, and friends.  So if you don't want any of that, and you want to slave away by yourself doing everything the hardest way possible, please, by all means, stay away from communities.

By communities, we mean don't find friends who like to go to gallery openings, or don't join online communities like Deviant Art or various Facebook and LinkedIn Groups.  If you went to art school, make sure you cut off all contact with your classmates and former teachers, and don't take part in any alumni groups or meet-ups.

For the love of all that is holy, make sure you stay away from communal art groups, or drawing meet-ups, or any sort of art making that might happen in a public place with other people - these are the most dangerous of all if you want to fly solo.

2.  You Enjoy Artists' Block

Often times, when we get stuck in the process of creating, besides pushing through it, an easy way to get past it is to find new inspiration, or ask for help from other artists who you trust.  We're sure you can see where we're going with this.

If you enjoy the gut-wrenching frustration of Artists' Block, be sure to not make other artist friends who you can get opinions from.  Definitely don't live with another artist, as we've found that living together has shattered our Artists' Block countless times.

Other artists provide new insights into our own work, or perhaps they might share a resource that might inspire you or give you more information that you needed to push through.  Maybe a fresh pair of eyes might help that composition you were struggling with, or maybe they've worked with an epoxy that might help out your sagging sculpture that you've been fighting.

So please, if you just absolutely love getting stuck and not being able to get past the block that stops you, make sure that you don't make other friends who are artists!

3. You Love Feeling Unsafe and Like Poop

Multiple rejections are a part of being a professional artist.  Our field is highly subjective, and having a barrage of blows to your self-confidence can be crippling if you're by yourself.  Obviously, if you love feeling beat down and potentially scared to make art, having a group of like-minded people alongside you to remind you that your art IS VALUABLE and IS IMPORTANT would not be your cup of tea.

Having a network of other people who have been there, or are there fighting alongside you can help restore your confidence.  Hearing stories of successful artist friends who have also been rejected or have had to submit portfolios again and again to finally land that dream job can really help someone who is going through the rough time that being an artist can entail.  So if you don't like to feel great and be reminded about how totally subjective our field is, then please, stay away from artist communities.

You need to be especially wary of having good artist friends who are willing to honestly and safely critique your work when you are trying new things.  Whether it's a new style, subject matter, or new medium, showing it to your core group of trusted artist homies probably isn't a good thing if you want to be ruthlessly beat down and told you suck.  If you want to feel like crap, create for a void, where you will have no one to validate your ideas, and you can let that monstrous whirlwind of self-doubt win out over your logical mind and crush your artistic dreams forever.

So please, dear artists, if you have any disregard for your own artist's soul, your artistic well-being, your ability to create, or your professional career, please, stay away from finding your tribe.  Don't make close friends who you can trust to nurture your art and your vision.  Stay away from artist communities that foster new work and will help you grow both as an artist and a professional.  Please, please, please do not continue to read this blog, as Monkey + Seal are working to create a new community of artists who are supportive and caring over competitive and criticizing.  Don't look for our new updates on how to become members of the upcoming online cabal of artists!

Adventures in the Creative Life

Now that it's January, I am seeing a lot of new yoga members at my gym. I have been doing yoga for about 7 years now and I notice the same pattern every year. There is an enormous influx of new members between end of November to mid March and very little attendance around July-October. Both old yogis and new members are as equally guilty. In January, a new intensity fills the air, there is a lot of talk of resolutions and goals. Everyone is very devoted, disciplined, and rigorous to their practice, so much so that they forget that it is supposed to be fun.

Here at the Monkey and Seal cave, we talk a lot about goals and resolutions. Being an artist, it is already difficult to find our "path." Our very mutable industry makes decisions and directions already very tough to begin with. So we think it is very important to have some rough outline or "road map" in where we want to go in our creative endeavors.

Because if you don't know where you want to go, you will either not move from your starting place, end up in a place you were not expecting, or who knows, maybe you make it to your destination, but it was without intention. Goals are road maps: they give us clear indication of where we have been, what our potential directions are, possible featured places we would definitely like to experience, if there is an endgoal, and how long would that distance be. Maps are also useful for when we get off track, we can always adjust, backtrack, or veer off in a new direction. We, at least, always know where we are at.

But the trick is, though we should take our goals and maps "seriously," we should never forget
that art is fun. We must never become too linear with our creativity or too much of a goal/career-orientated artist. Though we may have our trusty map, we should embed it into our psyche that there are multiple roads to get us to where we want to go, and we can always start and stop at anytime. Creativity and adventure is non-linear. The key to being a successful and creatively-fulfilling artist is to find the right balance between goals and adventure. Between direction and diversion. Between Career and Personal. Between Practice and Play. Between Seriousness and Whims. Because often times, it is Whims that create our highly original, unique, and personal pieces that will get the attention of the world.

When we were little, we drew things. They were fun and very different. Perhaps our well-meaning people noticed them, "these have potential - if we're serious enough to pursue it." How many times have artists been told to "get serious." So we become serious. Instead of drawing and painting, we begin to PRACTICE everyday. We have GOALS. We may end up in workshops and intensives and on the fast track towards a hot-shot art studio or design firm. Art becomes something we MASTER : we become constantly glued to looking at the map and we forget to enjoy the sights. We can do yoga poses out of habit and on command, but we have forgotten how it felt to first breathe, to just draw and paint on a whim.

I recently became acquainted with a high-profile, brilliant artist. He is very serious about his art. He has won many awards. He gets up at the crack of dawn, marches to his computer to paint, and sleeps at odd hours of breaking daylight. He attends all the independent master classes for artists and all the various workshops and conferences throughout the world. He is constantly sought after for book deals and collaborations. He has projects outlined and target goals posted in his studio and a miniature version of it in a .pdf file follows him around in his laptop. When I met him at a cafe, he has taken out all the "breaks" out of coffee break. He is talking a-mile-a minute, full of energy, but his face looked haggard. He talked about all the different various projects with other high profile artists that he is juggling and has lined up . The sternness in his voice when talking about art and creativity along with the foreign words coming out of his mouth regarding"mergers, maximizing profits, and climbing the ladder," all sounded strange to me. I notice a beautiful loose painted sketch in the first page of his book, and asked him about it. This piece of spontaneous art seemed very different than the person before me. He casually mentioned that it was done during lunchtime on his first day at one of his first jobs at the high-end film studio, many years ago. I couldn't help but asked, "When was the last time he painted with real paints as in the picture?" And he answered in surprise, "Oh," like the sketch suddenly crept up to him without knowing, "I don't remember." At this point, I unconsciously blurted out, "Are you having fun at all?" He stared at me as if I had just put worms in his coffee.

Although goals are necessary to give us a sense of purpose and direction, creativity is not meant to be "calculated." We are not meant to chug up the mountain, but to take a stroll through life. Though we'd like to backpack through the mountain and see what the view up there looks like, too, we'll take our time and take detours and pictures along the way. We'll start projects on whims, but we'll need the goals and road maps to help us finish them.

So when we talk about goals and resolutions at the Monkey and Seal cave, we present them more as personal challenges and changes that we would like to see in ourselves, better habits that would make creating art and sustaining our creativity more fun, guidelines that are meant to point us towards a direction, but we also know, that at any time, we can take a different road. And at anytime, we can stop at a rest area and open our picnic basket. At any point in our creative adventures, though it can still be tough and "serious," we can always choose to laugh through any storm.

100% Responsibility for Your Life

Every time we table at A.P.E. (The Alternative Press Expo) and other shows, I am excited, inspired, and vexed all at the same time. I have multiple projects that I wished I had completed in time for the event. And I beat myself up for over-working hard at my job, but not making the time for my own personal art. Every year, I see other brilliant art/artists, and I am jealous. I long for that intense creativity. Every year, it is the same.

So I decided that this time, if I want different results for next year, I have to change my behavior. I have to change what I do to get the results I want. I am 100% responsible for my life. If I am not where I want to be in my art, health, lifestyle, it is because I am not prioritizing the right things. There is always one more baby step that we can be taking towards our goals.

Are you 100% responsible for your life? Have you blamed others, your circumstances, your job, your finance, relationship, etc. for not being where you want to be?

It is not often said, but did you know, that you deserve everything to be exactly as you want them to be? Your art career, your relationship, your environment, your friends. . . you are responsible for the quality of your life and you have the power and resources, as you are now, to get it all.

In the art world and life in general, there are relatively things "outside" of your control. I say "relative" because in most parts, you are still responsible. You can't force a client to always love your artwork without revisions. You can't control people's emotions towards you. But what you can do is take a 100% responsibility for yourself. You are in control of yourself, your goals, what you do to get there, and its results. Everything else is just excuses and avoiding responsibility.

Maybe the client doesn't particularly like your style, but what you can do is research ahead of time. What does this client like? What do they expect? If you simply do not fit the style and feel of what they are looking for, save yourself the time and look for clients that do fit. You may not be able to fully control what people think about you, but you can certainly take actions that build upon your character and how people might perceive you. If you work hard, speak truthfully, and are generous - you will be seen as such. Even though someone may appear that they "just don't like you." (this may happen) But perhaps we should ask ourselves, what am I doing, how am I coming across to this person, for them, to react that way to me? Perhaps the economy, the audience, or the art market makes it relatively difficult to secure art sales. But these things can still be remedied by being proactive. Search for new economy. Do market research. Find your audience. Sometimes all it takes is just persistence and actions.


Are you where you want to be, right now? If not, then what actions are you taking? How can you change your behavior, now, today, to achieve the results that you want? How can you take 100% responsibility for your life?

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For more reading, check out Jack Canfield's "Success Principles"

The Artist's Multiple Identities

Oftentimes, the artist is described as being manic, we crave solitude to spend time with our work, yet we need to be immersed in life and people in order to experience them and relate them into our art. These two "Identities," of The Introverted Individualist and The Connected Humanist seems very much at odds with each other. And surprisingly, besides the two mentioned, there are more identity aspects that reside in the artist; we often battle between two sides of many coins: we have visions of Humility and Grandeur: of responsibility to be the creative "witness or recorder" in our society while simultaneously we crave to be recognized for that role. Van Gogh often expressed the similar duality that he is a Servant, a creative channel for society/god and at the same time, he has feelings of grandeur as the Savior, the artist who could bring about change in society through his art.

As an artist, you may have realized or come across some of these identities already, either in yourself or other artists:

The Activist - the artist intwined with politics and culture

The Entertainer - the artist who's goal is to amuse

The Warrior - "Art is a Battle" - Edgar Degas

The Careerist/ Productionist - "You tell me what to create, and I'll make it."

The Outsider - the artist who sees himself as not belonging to his society or human race

The Witness - I must record the society of today through my art

The Meditator - "art is in the mind, when it is on paper, it is no longer the purity of what I have imagined"

The Trickster - People buy bad art all the time. I'll create something that I don't care for and charge a ridiculous price and laugh at the stupidity of people for buying into my bandwagon.

. . . These are just a few of the artist identities and they are all very complex.

Why is it even important to know what your identity(ies) are as an artist? Often we do things that seem contradictory, it is because all these artist identities are at interplay with each other. Because these identities often define our roles as artists, it unfortunately often brands us early on and limits our choices. And external events only makes the identity crisis of the artist more complex.

Take an actor who is trained in all aspects of acting, but her/his first handsomely paid gig was in stand-up comedy. S(he) appears in more stand-ups and gets picked up by film producers to do a similar role, in a comedic film. It is not hard for this actor to conclude, I am a comedian, an Entertainer, I make people laugh and society will pay me for it. Were I to do drama, they may not take me seriously. It may even have the opposite effect and people will laugh at me. . .

Now this artist identifies her/himself as the Entertainer, with the expected role that as soon as s(he) is in front of the camera, it is to make people laugh. Although this identity can potentially provide the artist many future paid opportunities for more entertainer roles, the artist becomes cornered and limited. And worse, s(he) limits her/himself by choosing and only sticking to this one identity.

The "opposite" identity can also be true. Take the "Intellectual/ The Shaman/ or Avant-Garde Artist" who is often concern with meaning-making, their art has to be deep. Sometimes, so deep that no one else can dive that far down. This artist believes s(he) must create never before seen work, work that is deep, thoughtful, and new/unfamiliar. This artist refuses to do "commercial" work or "accessible" work for the public. S(he) will not allow herself to "play" to create works for "gist" or simple entertainment. The artist perhaps does not receive the feedback, recognition, or understanding that s(he) deserves and expects. The public is alienated by this artist's work. And the artist becomes alienated to themselves.

Take another example, the Hobbyist - this artist believes that they are creating art for a hobby. While in some aspects this is a positive to not always take on activities as a life-long career, the negative of this identity could be that this artist will never take their art to the "next level" or take it seriously. The act of creating or showing their art in public becomes excused or downplayed by their identity, "it is just a hobby."

To be a "successful artist" you will need to understand and honor all the different aspects of your artist identities; you will need to get to know which one is your primary role, or whether you juggle several, and understand that each identity has its own shadow side. There are positive and negative aspects of each identity and you may also find yourself in simultaneous conflict and at odds with yourself. You will need to learn how to make decisions NOT based solely on what your "identity" is at the time, but ask yourself questions:

whether you are moving closer to yourself or society?

whether the act of creating in this way connects you or disconnects you to what you believe is your purpose as an artist.?

if I were a different or opposite identity than what I'm most comfortable with right now, would I make the same decisions? (For example, if I were a humanist and not an entertainer) would I come to the same conclusions?

Remember, that identity is always flexible. You don't always have to choose. But there is always a danger in not knowing who you are, either. You can start new at any time. You are not bound by your past decisions or how you saw yourself then. We are continually recreating ourselves every day. If you do not change your behaviors, you will get the same results as you did yesterday. So nurture and manifest the identity(ies) that best serves what you want out of life.

Get to know the different multitude of identities that accompanies in being an artist, understand it, debate it, accept that this is part of the process as an artist and honor it. Balance and introspection is the key.

Dear Artist, Say "Yes" to Life

When Winter turns to Spring

Say "yes" to life.

The life of an artist can be long and arduous. Are you prepared? It can be discouraging at times, because the odds are often stacked against you. But for a moment, let's not think rationally. Let's be wild and dream the "impossible."

So you live. You breathe. You eat. You go to work. But what sustains you on the inside when all else falls away? Although we live, most of us had not said "yes" to life. With all it's pain, struggles, heartaches, and triumphs.

It seems that at every craft show, Seal encounters an artist, who had "given up on being an artist." "Isn't it hard?" they would ask, "isn't it painful?" Deep in my heart, I want to ask them, "Isn't it painful NOT to make art?" Who would be happy throwing away their dreams? I see their eyes full of past regrets and potential for what could be. "It's never too late," I counter, searching their eyes. For a moment, they glimmer with hope and they look twenty times younger. This is the moment between life and death. I watch quietly. They are tormented on the balance. They weigh the odds. Unfortunately, most people resign and the tiny flame I saw was quickly self-extinguished. But thankfully for some, although it is hard . . . they say "yes" to life.

I don't think anyone could ever forget their dreams. Even the people I met, they were there at the craft show for a reason. Their love of art pulled them towards other artists, even though they claimed to have abandon their dreams.

Dear Artist, Although you have lost so much, as long as you never abandon your dreams, it is never too late. Though it is hard and at times discouraging, though it is painful, you can still reach out for them, even now. Though it should already be enough, and you have done so much, and though you are tired, say "yes!" To live. To create.

The answer is to concentrate on what you can do in front of you.

Choose Your Own Life Adventure

“One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. Which road do I take? she asked. Where do you want to go? was his response. I don't know, Alice answered. Then, said the cat, it doesn't matter.”

- Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland

Choices and decisions: we make them all the time. Should I accept this freelance, gallery, craft show? What kind of art medium best fits the story I want to tell? Should I pursue art? Get a day job, internship, or go for a studio job? The choices presented are endless. On top of the everyday anxiety, artists are also have the high pressure to produce work that is new, challenging, and full of personality. We are constantly having to choose, What is my next creative project? What is my art style? Do I create what is popular or the obscure projects that I want to work on?

Sometimes we choose consciously with intention, but for most of the time, we are unaware of the decisions we make or why we made them. Days, months, years, past by and we are wondering what it was we dreamt of in the first place, what we hoped to accomplish, why we are not where we want to be or have accomplished the things we wanted to do. Hopefully, you are one of the rare creatures that knows what they want all the time and live by your intentional choices.

However, for most of us, when it comes to our dreams, our art, our life, we float randomly through life. We continue to live. We "choose" to do illustrative art, but in fact, in reality, we want to make films. We continue to make art, but absently with chaotic energy that dissipates because we have not CHOSEN our rightful place and meaningful task as an artist.

I'll take whatever is on today's special menu please or I'll have what he's having or I'll have the usual, what I always have before. Then when the steak and potatoes arrive, we complain "This is not what I ordered. This is not what I was expecting." My hunger is physically met, but my taste for life remains unsatisfied.

Of course, like Alice, we want the choice at the fork of the road to matter. We may "not know where we want to go initially," but in reality, perhaps in the deepest recesses of our hearts, we already know the answer. You already know the choices you are meant to take.

Like Alice, although we answer with, "I don't know." We do know. We honestly want to be directed "home": the place where our creativity and abundance soar.

So how do we get there? How can you become more attune to the choices that are presented to you? How can we become more conscious of our choices and make for a meaningful art? life?

Luckily, we are all born with the innate ability to tune into our heart's most desires. As children, we knew what we wanted and what we didn't. "No" was one of our favorite words. We drew clear boundaries. We said, "This is who I am and what I want." We did everything we could to get it. We cried, threw tantrums, reached, kicked, wail, screamed, our mind was a tunnel vision towards our choice desires. As adults, it becomes more complex. We no longer have the privilege and knowledge to simply choose. We have to navigate through our emotions, socialization, negotiations, compromises, and juggle many different priorities. But here are three facts that will help you get closer to your inner genius and decision-making:

1. As a artist and as a human being, we are always presented by choices and regardless of how the situation looks, we always have the agency and courage to make a choice towards our heart's desire.

2. Explore all options, your choices may not be an either / or option only. As artists, we have the gift to "think outside the box."

3. When you are presented with choices, and one of them is your heart's desire, your physical body cannot help but respond. You get excited, your heart races, your eyes dilate, you feel at ease. Your body is your best magnetic compass. You are filled with energy and excitement. It is crucial to look for this physical response.

So, what choices, what forks in the road have brought you to where you are today? What choices lie in the present? And potentially the future? (Are they towards your ultimate goal?)

"The artist is the only one who knows that the world is a subjective creation, that there is a choice to be made, a selection of elements." - Anais Nin

Stopping

Trust that as an artist there are many times that you must stop. By stopping, you end something, and simultaneously begin something new. By stopping you say no more to sitting down, and you begin your creative work. You end a relationship. You start a new one. You finish a project. You pick up another. Life is always going at a fast pace. In order to create, to find your own voice, at some point, you have to know how to stop.

Often times, we have a negative association with "stopping." We think "red lights." Danger. Stagnant. An End. Or that we're quitting (and quitting is "BAD"). But without "stopping" we don't know that we need to quiet the everyday chatter and begin our creative work. We don't know how to put down the day job and pick up our art. Or to let go of the things that are hindering us from what we really want to do.

Stopping is like saying "no." No more compromises with our time and art. No more negative thoughts and procrastination. No more mindless existence.

What are things in your life that you need to stop? What are projects you need to complete and end? What are the jobs, housing, hobbies, activities, projects, or time-intensive activities that you need to stop?

Now breathe long and deep. Conscious of every breath. And STOP. Can you hear your own voice now?

Coaching Your Inner Artist

Illustration Friday Painting by Seal

On the days you want to quit most, there is a tiny voice inside of each of us that says, "You can still do this." "All is not lost." "What if we try this." or "That might be interesting." And on the days you succeed, it congratulates you. "Way to go!" "I knew you could do it." "That wasn't so bad."

If you have ever played a sport, cheering on your artistic endeavors is much like being a sports coach. Different challenges call for different tactics, and as the coach of your inner artist, you have to know your team and you have to know what you're up against. Are you a procrastinator? Timid artist who doesn't like to pitch their ideas in person? Do you have a great batting average, but only when you've had enough sleep? As artists, we need to be our own coach. We need to know what it is we need, what is holding us back, and the tips and game play we need to move forward with our art. If you are a procrastinator, find out why art is so painful for you, find ways to manage expectations and time for projects. If you are shy about selling your own art, hire an agent/manager, enroll in speech class, or practice in front of a friend or in the shower. If you are the type who can't do anything creative until you have that nap, then gosh darn it, take that nap and fully rest or decide to push through.

Every day, from the moment you wake up, there are many negative obstacles blocking you from creating that day. Your friend calls to have lunch, then lunch turns to an entire afternoon. Your painting is left un-touched. You finally wrote that novel and the publisher who promised you great advance on royalty, decided in the end that they had a "better candidate in mind." Your art rival is making headway and landing the job, that you applied for. The cat needed to be fed first before you craft. etc. etc. As artists, we tend to be very giving with our time. Too giving. But since we cannot build a wall around ourselves and we choose to live this life with the people in it, we must learn to center ourselves and coach ourselves back to focus "on the game," our love, that is art.

So how do we do this? First of all, as our own creative coach, we need to know our team. We must be very honest with ourselves and fess up to our biggest culprit. What is the most negative anti-creative force in your life right now? Do you spend too much time dilly dallying? To tell you the truth, Seal is a workaholic. She keeps herself very busy. Too busy, in fact, to work on her own personal art. Because, YES, it is much easier to work on everything else, except her personal art -- because it is personal. And personal means, we are invested, we must pour our hearts out. And that is scary!

What is your worst creative enemy? As your very own inner creative coach, how do you get yourself off the bench and into the game of creating?

Some coaches Coax: "C'mon, you can do it. Come out kitty kitty"
use Bribery: "If you paint today, I'll reward you with 1 hour reading time."
Pushing/Prodding: "You're almost at the finish line. Now push through it!" (You're almost finished with that novel!"
Tough Love: "No more excuses, you are going to create, right now."
Threats (doesn't work for Seal, but perhaps others might respond to this method): "Sew this plush toy now, or else (you'll get a late dinner, etc, etc.)
Compromise/ baby steps: "If you do this now, then I will . . . " "Okay, how about just 15 minutes of creativity today"

They all work to some degree, it's just about finding out which ones work for you best and for what circumstances. For example, Seal really hates being threatened. She will react in the opposite and shut down instead. "Then, fine. I won't create at all." And there are days when she needs to be pushed with tough love, rather than coaxed. Only you know, what you truly need.

As a coach, you are a dreamer ("the big game"), a realist (we are 5th in the league, but not dead last, nor the best team), a practitioner (you are also the artist that knows the game best). You must employ equip yourself with supportive resources and must be ready to pull up any number of repertoire of tricks up your sleeve to get you to play your best in your art.

Every day you will have to review your plan, chart your course, and create. Every day you will sit with rejection, disappointment, and successes. Every day you will re-evaluate and re-commit yourself to your craft. And never forget to always celebrate your successes, however big or small. Will you take on the meaningful task at hand?

We believe you will. After all, inside each one of us, is an artist and dreamer at heart.

--

For further reading: Eric Maisel's Coaching the Artist Within

Savoring Time

(Illustration Friday Topic: Savour)

Seal here:

This week, Seal participated in Illustration Friday, a great online resource where artists can be inspired by weekly art challenges and build a creative community. The topic for this week was "Savour."

It really made me think about the idea of time: how to savour it. Time is used: to do what we enjoy doing (art), what we don't like doing but have to do (work/errands), resting (sleeping or taking breaks), or escaping (when you don't even remember what you did the last two hours, like video games, browsing the internet, or watching tv reruns - you can't even remember what you watched).

So how can we honor time? How can we savour it? How can we make use of it, whether we are creating, working, resting, or escaping, in the most effective manner? When I say "effective," I don't mean in a militant-rigid type of way, but that it's enjoyable, that you are present, and aware that you are DOING something. (Resting/breaking also count, they are also verbs, you are (do-ing) rest-ing/ sleep-ing.)

Time is flexible and pliable. Activities can either "take up a lot of time" or "we forget about time," something dreadful or dreamy feels "like forever" and other things go by in an instant ("where does the time go?" we ask ourselves).

In order to make use of our time, we need to take a look at the word: Savour.

Sa.vour. -
To appreciate fully; enjoy or relish
A distinctive quality or sensation
[to taste] (life)
The power to excite interest

Savour is a sexy word. How many of us appreciate our day and time fully? Actually smell and taste our morning coffee? Do you taste life? Are you excited? Engaged and interested in the work you are doing throughout your day? When we are creating, working, resting, or escaping, do you make the conscious decision: "this is how I will spend my next 15min, hour, half a day, a week on 'X'" ?

When we taste something and are aware of its specific distinctive qualities (a juicy, textured ripe orange), or when we are passionately interested in something, (painting the difference between the soft fur of a cat, the coldness of shiny metal, the exact curve and idiosyncratic expression of our lover's face), for that moment, we stop time. We are aware, present, enjoying, and savouring. We do not care what else is happening outside, we are engaged with life. Time is well spent.

How do you spend your time? Are you savouring it? Draw a circle. It is your pie/ pizza chart. You have 24 hours in a day: What percentage of your day is used for 1) things you like to do 2) things you don't like to do 3) resting 4) escaping? You can even draw a different chart with your own personal categories: I have one that divides: 1) Time spent on art 2) work 3) health 4) friends/ family 5) personal enrichment 6) break/ resting activities 7) entertainment. How much of your lifetime is spent on doing things you love?

Don't be alarmed if most of your pie slice consists of work or doing things for other people. (Most pie charts are unfortunately like this). The answer is to free up more time to do more of what you love. (hire an intern, a maid, a friend to do your busywork, say "no" to more workload, move into your career field, get paid to do what you love doing).

If you cannot free up more time, the trick is to savour the moment, even when you are working or doing something you don't necessarily want to do. In order to do this, you need to consciously make the decision to use that time in a specific way. "I am working from 9-4pm."

When you are conscious of the decision to use your time in a specific way, you give yourself the agency and awareness - you are choosing to do this. When it's time to work, you work. Don't daydream about your next vacation - you'll slow down the process. Get it over with and then when the time comes, you can fully enjoy your vacation. "I am resting for 30minutes before the next project." I am consciously fully resting for the entirety of 30 minutes, instead of juggling eating dinner while still working by the computer, I am enjoying and savoring my rest. You can work more efficiently after you have fully rested. Otherwise, your body will continue to run, but your mind and soul have already checked out- which is often why life feels like a blur.

When you name your time, you give yourself the permission to fully engage in that activity - you are savoring.

The last tip is you need to create personal goals in all aspects of your life.

"to contribute more at work meetings"
"enter more art competitions and craft shows"
"call friends more"
"surprise my partner, by taking out the trash first"
etc.

You can savour time, when you consciously engage to work for yourself, to mark changes in your personal growth, to choose to be present in life, no matter the activity or circumstances.

A Change of Perspective

Hello everyone! We hope you all had a good holiday this past Thursday! Sorry for the lack of a post on Friday..we announced in on twitter, but we realized a bit late that not all our readers follow our blog... (doh!) Many apologies!

Anyhoo, while we get ready for a few different shows (we'll be hanging work and hanging out at Chillin' Production's upcoming holiday show on 12/4 at Mezzanine, vending at Big Umbrella Studio's newest show on the 9th, and we'll be at Bazaar Bizarre Holiday at Fort Mason on the 11th and 12th), here's a little something for when you feel like you're running a bit low on inspiration.

When you're running low on inspiration, a great way to get your creative juices flowing is to take something you've been currently working on and turn it on it's head. What we mean by that is taking something familiar (and that you might be getting bored with), and trying to retell it from a different point of view.

If you're telling a story about a man who sits on a chair, try retelling the story from the perspective of the chair! If you paint portraits of cats, try taking one of your favorite pieces and then paint what the cat in that portrait was looking at. If you write music, try playing a piece you've written backwards.

This technique works great as it's something utterly familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. You'll learn new things about the original piece you're basing your new creation upon, and you'll find yourself challenged by thinking in a way that you don't usually think. At the very least, you'll have something new that will challenge your conventions (which is usually just the thing to inspire you anew).

Changing up your perspective is a great tool to teach you new things about yourself, your subject, and the way that you look at things. It'll push and challenge your thinking and frame of reference, and it might even inspire a whole new body of work! Try it and let us know how it goes!

Are You a First Generation Artist?

Are you a first-generation artist? What I mean is: have you had parents, grandparents, or a close relative who passed on to you the secrets to being a successful artist? If you were lucky, I hope you were able to answer “yes” to the above question. But for most of us, the truth is, we’re probably the first artists in our family/ community. That, in itself makes it difficult to pursue art. If “life was a race,” not only were you way behind the starting line, you also had a ball-and-chain on your leg.

When I told my high school counselor that I wanted to be an art director, she nearly laughed and said, “Well, we don’t really have a program for that kind of thing. . . Have you thought of a more sustainable occupation, like being a nurse? Or a mechanic? There are always jobs in that field.”

I grew up in small working town. My high school had electives for trade jobs, such as trainings for nurses and mechanics. The school offered one art class in 8^th grade, where you can learn how to doodle your name in bubble letters and cut out images from old National Geographic magazines for collages. However, if I wanted a profession in government, law, or science, they had special AP/ Honors courses and teachers were quick to point you in the direction of known schools for such endeavors: Berkeley, Yale, Columbia, etc. They might even offer to transfer you to a more aspiring prep school. But if I asked them, “How do I become an artist?” “What kind of training should I get” “Where should I go” they didn’t know what to tell me. It is difficult, even now, to find our tribe as artists. To find an environment in which you belong that fosters your success as an artist.

Our society already has its ideas about what it means to be an artist: Goals are measured by numbers and statistics. Academic intelligence is favored instead of creative ingenuity. Also, we have very conflicting views about what it means to be a successful artist. It is often labeled synonymously with “mainstream sellouts.” It’s no wonder, that we find it very hard to even begin pursuing art.

Let me describe to you the necessary components that make for a successful person. The following list below is paraphrased from author and motivational speaker, Barbara Sher, who has compiled a thorough list). It is important to uncover our early associations with art and success. Do any of the following apply to you?

1) Since birth, were you always treated as if you had creative ingenuity, a special and unique creative contribution?

2) Were you told you could be anything? (If you told them you wanted to be a janitor cleaning underneath the sewers of New York or become a burlesque Las Vegas dancer, were you encouraged? Supported? Helped? Did you get the message “you can be anything” directly or indirectly?

3) Were you encouraged to explore all aspects of your dreams? ALL of them. And if your dreams changed were you still supported without caution, or dissuasion? (This also applies along gender roles: if you were a “girl” and wanted to do contact “extreme” sports/construction work/president of the United States were you encouraged? Or if you were a “boy” and wanted to be a dancer/baker/fashion designer were you encouraged?)

4) Did you receive help? If they did not know how to help you, did they “look it up” or offered to find your other means of resources? (“let’s go to the library” “I know a friend who’s an artist, let me introduce you” etc.)

5) If you failed, how did they respond? Were you helped without reproach? Were you allowed to complain? Listened to without judgment? (Many women are often offered “help” with a condescending “don’t you worry you’re pretty little head” “you can just quit and come home, darling.” Or “there’s always marriage . . .” as if these were good helpful alternatives to your dreams.) (And many men are encouraged to bulldoze their way to success without complaints “pick yourself by your bootstraps, lads!” “don’t be a sissy and get out there!”)

6) When you were successful, were you celebrated? Congratulated? Were you surrounded by other successful winners who were pleased with you? Or were you met with jealously and or guilt?

7) Are your dreams in line with or different than what you feel is expected of you? Do you feel that you have met your family/ cultural/ national expectations?

8) Finally, are you the first generation of artists in your immediate family? If you have an “artistic problem to solve,” do you have someone you can come to unreserved?

Having truthfully answer all the questions above will give you a better insight as to the road that was paved for you since early childhood and explain why it may be difficult now as an adult to follow the path of an artist. I certainly hope that you are able to say yes to all of the above. But if you didn’t, it doesn’t make you less of an artist. It is very sad and unfair to not have received early encouragements to be an artist. No one told you or guided you on “how to get there.” Even if they wanted to help you, they didn’t know how. You probably lacked the resources, generational experience, and support. (If you had family members who were an alumni of UC Berkeley, you were probably, though not always, equipped with the knowledge of how to fill out the application, the expectations of the admissions jury, and were constantly reminded of the potential that it’s VERY possible for you. Which is why it is hard to be a successful artist. You are the first of your generation; you are the first to try something new. It’s not impossible; you just don’t have the right map. Forgive yourself.

It simply means, we need to find the right resources and recover your artist now! In order to unlock the ball and chain and send you running down the hill, you’ll need a big push. x Remember, the environment components that make up successful winners are also full of winners. We need to get you everything on that list NOW! Friends, family, mentors who are genuinely supportive of you, can help you find the resources you need, and help to buffer the generation gap of being the first artist in the family. If you don’t have physical people to help you, Seal has also taken on artist heroes, literary heroes . . . when she is creating, Miyazaki, Van Gogh, and James Dean are cheering her on. When she experiences failure, they comfort her and remind her that the path of an artist is a difficult one, but very worthwhile. If not heroes, she finds a community of artists by joining animation forums, sketch clubs, a gathering of her tribe who believe in her competence and creative endeavors.

If you haven’t had the support to become the artist you are meant to be, it is all the more reason to pursue it NOW. You are creative and what you create has meaning.

Revisions: It'll All Part of the Process! or You Don't Have to Do it Perfectly the First Time!

You need to do revisions, and that's that.

Most people don't like to hear this. We would rather imagine that creativity is done 1) quickly 2) effortlessly 3) painlessly 4) perfectly, without any second draft, revisions, stagnation, re-dos, or breaks.

Perhaps, we even have an image of the creative genius artist, living somewhere in a remote cabin, completely and utterly devoted to their art: who wakes up at 5am and pines away at the canvas for 10 hours, without food or break . . . the novel churns itself out. Some painter somewhere, perhaps your peers or rivals, are happily, elegantly, making the next best hit, while you are wrestling with the question: should I create today?

But the truth is, we all need revisions. There is no perfection! Sure, maybe, perhaps there is one out of the billion who has the genius to create at whim and have a perfect masterpiece painting, novel, or comic book inked on the first draft, without any decisions to include, exclude -- to delete, or add another sentence or brush stroke here . . . (although I very much doubt such artists exists.) But for most of us, the rest of us, we have to deal with sentences or brush strokes that we, yes, sometimes hate. You artwork can sometimes be painful, awkward, plodding ugly ducklings. But does that mean we should stop and put our brushes away? Call it a day or a year even, and take up an endeavor that comes more easily to us? Of course not.

"Yes, it is early; yes, this is a draft; yes, the beauty will appear in the revising" (Eric Maisel).

Revisions are part of the process. As a creative artist, you need to honor the process, the positive triumphs along with their ugly duckling stages. A great novel is created through countless of revisions. A great painting style is achieved through countless experimentation and thousands of sketches that very often, the public will never see. A great artist is built upon the continual committed encounters between yourself and the canvas every day, especially on the days that you want to run away most from your art.

This worrying, this fussing, and frustration - a change here, move this sentence here, or that color there - it's all part of the process.

And the truth is, even the "masters" we admire did revisions. Beethoven, Mozart, Brahms, Michelangelo, Raphael, even our contemporaries. Brahms, spent 14 years completing his Symphony no.1., in its entirety, it is a 45 minute piece,but when you listen to the music, not a second is wasted - the revisions were well- spent. In 2007, they found Michelangelo's sketches for the dome of St Peter's Basilica. Some of his tattered sketches of the Sistine Chapel also exist. Not surprisingly, some were carefully drawn, some re-drawn, there were some stray marks here and there. And the proportion on some of the figures - surprise! not perfect. He was notorious for burning his sketches. So of course, for a long time, we did not know that it was part of his process. Don't get me wrong, he was a very talented man and his artwork is absolutely masterful. But it is because he spent the process of revisions that the sketches became masterful.

Art is a process of becoming.

Will you honor the steps of creating? Will you face your art in all of its stages?

Create in the Midst of Chaos

Sometimes life "gets to us." We are always in the midst of chaos, in the middle of "to-do lists," deadlines, and laundry. Yet at the same time, we still MUST create. It is a difficult balance. Most people do not do it. Most people come to four types of conclusion:

1.) They do not create at all. (A terrible tragedy.)
2.) They create sporadically, only when the timing, the mood, the inspiration hits, when all circumstances fall into place. (This is not only very rare, it is also very impractical and you become at the mercy and whim of fate.)
3.) They create, but not very deeply. Just skidding the surface, the potential of the artist you are meant to be. They half-heartedly create. They remain on the outskirts of their skills, and subject matter.
4.) Or They withdraw from life, they break up with their spouses, withdraw from friends, hobbies, any and all pursuit except for art. (This is also very extreme and in the long-run very damaging to your creativity. As all creativity stems for being engaged with life).

Although the above four solutions are possible, very easily doable, they all prevent you from both fully living and fully creating. So how do artists create in the middle of life, in the midst of chaos?

For starters, name what you are "in the middle of."

For example, Seal is in the middle of:
multiple deadlines
physical tiredness
not enough sleep
fear of failure
fear of not finding the right style in her art, etc.
continual freelance
growing pains in her experimental skill sets

Now that you have listed your chaos. How do you plan to continue creating despite of it? You have to find your own answers for that because each answer will be different and personal.

For Seal, art needs to be a priority for her. Her laundry, dishes, and friends wait, until she creates first thing in the morning. Then afterward, she will address her emails and call her friends. She doesn't withdraw from life, but she lets the people closest to her understand that she loves them and at the same time, there will be hours or days before phone calls are returned.

Seal also likes the AA saying, "suit up and show up" regardless of what's going on in your life. Meaning: show up on the page. Paint, draw, doodle - something - regardless of what you're feeling and having to do that day. (acknowledge your feeling "I feel blah, I don't want to paint" but convert it into action, "but I will anyways" "I will create today.")

State you intention and do it! "I will write for 15minutes before I go to work." A novel is made with one word at a time.

Other creative solutions people have come up with is: paying friends to do the laundry for you while you paint.

Quiet the chaos. Center your mind and body and focus on the intention of creating. Most seeming "emergencies" can wait until you create.

Remember to be gentle with yourself, this is a daily practice that gets better each time!

How to deal with Anxiety as an Artist

Seal here:
In the pursuit of your artistic endeavor, you may have probably come across anxiety revolving your art. As an artist you may be plagued in different areas or stages in the act of creativity. It can be towards the beginning: anxiety about what painting subjects to choose. So many stories to write. So many paintings to do! Where do I even begin. It can be in the middle of creating: "oh my god, where is this going?" "what was I trying to say in the first place" "will I find the strength and courage to finish this?" It can be towards the end of finishing a piece: "now that it's done, it'll be judged" "I"ll have to show it to people" "I'll have to try to sell it" Even in sports and theater, people have a name for it: performance anxiety.

Anxiety, not handled or minimized can and seriously hamper our creativity. It can even cause people to stop creating altogether. It can be paralyzing and become a misdirected self- guilt towards our own inaction. So, how can we make it better? How can we deal with anxiety?

Let's break it down: What is anxiety and what causes it? Anxiety is our body's system response to a PERCEIVED or REAL threat/stress. There is the physiological aspect to it: sweating, muscle tension, shakiness. Our body shuts down our digestive system and any access to carbohydrates (our normal way of getting daily energy), and instead our brain activates adrenaline and expends our stored emergency energy. For a short period, we may experience a burst of fight or flight response, but overtime our body wears out, unable to access our normal carbohydrates, we get tired, we crash and burn. It is not sustainable. It is not meant to be.

First, we need to understand that there is are positive and negative responses to anxiety. When we are faced with a "real threat," such as a lion who is charging at us, our anxiety becomes a positive (a much needed) respond, we run really quickly or climb a tree - anything to relieve us from the immediate and very real danger ahead of us.

How about when anxiety takes hold of us in our art: Whether we start painting A or painting B first. Does it pose a threat? to our life? career? or daily existence? Does it matter what we choose? In the grand scheme of things, yes, of course it matters - because you have to paint something that you like and is true to who you are, but will it kill you if you make the wrong choice?

So if you scored a never-before-heard-of contract with a gallery, it seems almost too good to be true. You get an uneasy feeling in your gut. Is it a real threat? We don't know.

Each anxiety must be evaluated individually: Is this a real or perceived threat? And only you ultimately can answer that in each case.

So do the research. You keep calling the gallery to make an appointment and no one ever returns your calls. You ask to visit the gallery ahead of time and they ask that you deposit your paintings first. Then, . . . probably, your anxieties were well-placed and had probably saved you. OR You find out that the gallery had great reputation among your well-known artist friends, you were nervous mainly about having to show your work, not about the gallery itself, then perhaps your anxiety is misplaced.

So what if we find out the threat was perceived, that it doesn't really kill us to choose Painting A or Painting B, but we still have anxiety about choosing, working on the art, or finishing the art. What we can teach you is how to minimize, handle, and ask the right questions in regards to each anxiety.

1. First, grow in your awareness and acknowledgment of your own anxious thoughts/actions in regards to art. Seal gets very nervous before starting a painting.
2. Voice out WHY you are anxious, What is it in particular that makes your nervous? : Seal grew up with critical people in her life, she is afraid that every piece of artwork is bad. She is afraid that she doesn't have good ideas, that she's not creative enough.
3. How does the anxiety manifest itself? Seal has to have multiple cups of tea, stalling and procrastinating before putting any marks on the canvas. She goes on Facebook or checks her email multiple times, just stalling. Her negative anxiety of inaction begin a downward spiral in her mind, and she shuts down.
4. If you know that this anxiety is recurring (every time Seal starts a painting), just knowing and anticipating the known anxiety is helpful. Given the circumstances, how would you, personally, minimize and deal with your own repeating anxiety? Seal braces herself: Okay, I'm going to have my 2 cups of tea, but no more. After 30 minutes of procrastinating, on Facebook, I will start. When I hear the negative self talk start, I will put a halt on it: I'm doing good. My ideas are good. I am creative. I have everything I need right now, in order to create.
5. Scientists have pointed out that there are also two more ways to relieve stress/anxiety in general: you can physically take out your stress on something else (punching someone- not recommended, but you can buy a punching bag and it is shown to have the same impact in lowering anxiety.
6. Also, taking action, ANY action (jogging, talking to friends on the phone, listening to music) immediately lowers stress, whether that action is directly correlated or not to solving your initial problem. (But afterward, tackle your art! There is a difference between initially relieving your stress with chronic avoidance).
   

Hope you know that as an artist, you are not alone. Many people deal with anxiety, most especially artists, because we are often putting our hearts out on our sleeves. But in the end, despite the fear, the agonizing pain, and anxious turmoil, when you have completed and created that art - hadn't it all been worth it?

Is your life and your art meaningful?

Creating Meaning:

Seal here.

What is your purpose in life? It's a loaded question, but once you figure that out, you will find the passion and drive in your art to overcome any obstacle. So, isn't it important enough to know?

Most people, Seal too, confuses meaning with goals. Goals are things you want to accomplish. Meaning is why you want to accomplish these goals. Is your life meaningful? In other words, is your life full of meaning? Is there a reason you get up every day?

Many people have come to Seal with frenetic passion and exclaim their goal: I want to make a comic, a novel, a book, a painting about ____ (blank). My next question usually consists of genuine encouragements and then the dreaded question: "why? what drives you to write that particular story? ... what is your purpose behind this work of art? what is this story REALLY about?"

Recently I wanted to do a painting about an ancient wasteland inhabited by old robots. But when I ask myself why, it took me awhile to find the answer. At first it was, "oh, I don't know. Everyone loves robots and ancient ruins. It looks cool." So I kept asking "why do I want to do this painting? What is the drive behind this painting?" "Why is it so important?" Eventually, I came down to the following answer: I wanted to depict my experiences of abandonment growing up in a household of working parents.Having also survived civil wars in the homeland country, they were emotionally drained and detached towards my sister and me." This was, of course, a far cry from my robots in a wasteland. . . but is it, really? Now that I understand the "meaning" and reason behind this painting, I can fully let my passions out. The robots become something more. It is a statement about myself. It also becomes easier to complete. Because every day I look forward to meeting and conversing with myself within the painting.

I think people often get the wrong idea when I say meaning. They think their meaning has to be "deep" or "grandiose." Monkey can draw monsters and it is still full of meaning. Because he is living truthfully to who he is. He is genuinely doing work for himself and living life with intention and honesty about what he wants to do. He faces his art head on, without apologies or compromises. When he is not drawing or painting, he comforts Seal and supports her dreams. They go on adventures and discover new things. Sometimes they hit a wall and overcome it. He also works passionately for equality and justice by donating his time to teach workshops or donating proceeds from his art. These are some of the many more reasons for why he exists on this earth.

It is simply living day to day with intention. Sometimes, the meaning in my day is as simple as: I would like to make someone laugh, then I draw a squiggly drawing of a penguin inside of a toilet bowl. Sometimes, it's something along the lines of I want to make my friends happy with a delicious meal, a dish I've never cooked before (so I have to research new dishes and learn something new). Those are the day to day meaning. You also need to know what is the overarching meaning to your life. For me, I create art that tell a truth about myself, whether literally or allegorically, in hopes that it resonates with people. It is my meaning, to also lead other people to their dreams. So I also hope to mentor and be mentored by other artists. Meanings sometimes change. As teenagers, (not all of us) but probably we had hoped to learn as much as possible, find friends, and a person to love and be loved. As adults, we tend to want to pass on our knowledge and experiences. As I grow older, sometimes it's simply to share more time with Monkey, friends, and family.

One way to know what your meaning is to ask several questions, here are some to begin with:

1. what makes me happy?
2. what do i look forward to every day?
   
3. what are some things I truly enjoy doing? (time passes and you don't even know it)
   
4. what are my gifts (art, intelligence, listening, etc).
5. how can I utilize my gifts to get genuine satisfaction out of life? (it can be simply, entertaining people, fighting for a cause, using your gifts to donate to a cause, teach aspiring artists, etc).
   

Making meaning is scary. It means that you matter. You matter to the world. And what you create matters. That's scary because it also means that you are charged with the important task of making a mark in your everyday world. However big or small.

I'm a firm believer that each individual is put here on earth to do a task. Most likely this task is something that only you can achieve. Only your voice can reach and say your story. Will you take this challenge?

"You decide to matter, to live a principled, creative, active life in support of your cherished ideals, to manifest your potential, to do work,[ . . .] do not presume that your life matters on a cosmic scale or that your efforts will move mountains [although, they might] But in short, it is to make your life meaningful at least to you." - Eric Maisel

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For further reading:

Fearless Creating by Eric Maisel