Gratitude 2012 Edition

Hi all.  This is our annual Thanksgiving / Unthanksgiving / National Day Of Mourning post, where we take some time to focus on something that is too often overlooked: gratitude.

So one of the authors Monkey reads, Chris Guillebeau, wrote a great post based on the writing of a 14th-Century Sufi poet named Hafiz.  In it, Chris talks about the difference between dropping keys and building cages.

This post pretty much changed the way we think about life. We highly recommend reading it, but to sum it up, you can either build cages (kicking people down), or you can drop keys (empowering people).

If you're asking "Why help everyone else out and create more competition?" you're looking at this all wrong.  You can try to eliminate the competition and create a bunch of enemies, or you can help people out and build a League of Badasses.

So the obvious take-away is that you should be a Keydropper and help other out.  However, when you're in a mentality of lack, you often feel like you can't afford to give.  While we're not suggesting you give your last $5 bill to a homeless person when you're struggling with paying your rent, we're talking about being grateful for all the good things going on and giving away stuff that you can afford.

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In life, we can focus on stuff like being hundreds of thousands in student loan and credit card debt.  We could focus on our crazy families, or on how life wasn't fair because of XYZ.  We can focus on low balance bank accounts, or the calls from collection agencies.  We can focus on the messy desks, the smelly buses, the lack of recognition, the lack of XYZ.  We can live in a world that's lacking...happiness.  Or, we can change our mindset.

We can focus on the humble roof over our heads.  The friends we have.  The fact that we don't have to worry about drone attacks or airstrikes killing us or our loved ones.  We can be grateful for the fact that we even have the opportunity to chase our dreams (however improbable or realistic they might be), and that we always have a choice of how to live our lives. We have the internet!  By framing our own worlds in a lens of gratitude, we can feel empowered ourselves.  We can then afford to drop keys.

If you're sad because you only sold a few items at a craft fair, you're not realizing that people just paid money for your work.  If you are bummed because you just had a breakup, you're not realizing that it's better to find out that you weren't going to work out now rather than twenty years from now.  While we're not advocating that you sugar-coat everything and just lead some blindly optimistic life, you do have to put things into perspective.  Failure is rarely fatal, and the human spirit is surprisingly resilient - after all, you're still here reading this, dreaming of achieving greatness in what you love.  What you fear probably isn't as terrible as you might think.  Learn from your mistakes, and press on.

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By living with a lens of gratitude, we can afford to drop keys.  Mentor someone who asks for help.  Connect friends who you think could mutually benefit from knowing each other.  When someone offers advice, give it.  There are a lot of things you can do for other people that don't require the loss of your own assets.

Just remember that while you can drop as many keys as you want, people still have to open their own cages, and that's not something you can force upon them (because then, you're really doing it for yourself and not for them).  We know it's hard, especially when your own world can look bleak, but if you constantly try to give, you'll find that people will want to give in return.

We have personally found that the more keys you give, the more you get.  So this Thursday, take time to reflect on all the good stuff that you do have, and think about how you can drop some keys.

PS - For all you artists out there who want to make a living off your work - Monkey has written a Marketing Guide for artists.  He usually sells his Marketing 101 for Artists: How to Sell Art Without Selling Out for $29, but in the spirit of dropping keys, we're doing a limited time (now through 11:59pm PST on Monday, Nov. 26th) offer of the guide for just $4.99 (aka more than 80% off).

If you want the guide, make sure you get it while it's on sale and go through this special link (that will vanish soon).

How to Be Selfish + Selfless

We're back!  

Sorry for the long hiatus everyone.  For all you that are our facebook fans, you'll know that Monkey ended up with strep throat two weeks ago (and most of last week as well), thus much of our focus was on healing him up.  Seal was an excellent nurse, and did much to make sure Monkey didn't die.

Anyway, today we wanted to talk about selfishness.  Our society often gives mixed messages about selfishness.  We often see stories of people who are so obsessed with something (music, art, business, technology, etc.) that they devote their lives to it and selfishly put that love over everything else.  We are told this is the epitome of the American Dream of pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps and following your passion.

We also, however, often get the message that we shouldn't be selfish.  That we should think of society as a whole, that it's saintly to give to others and to give back to the community.  We praise non-profits and community giving and we are often socially rewarded for doing "selfless" things.  Also, especially in certain communities, (religious, immigrant, and/or minority) communities, emphasis can be strongly put on the community over the whole.  Pressure to "put the community over your own needs" can be strong, and it seems like the right thing to do is to be selfless.

However, we'd like to offer a different take on selfishness/selflessness.  We propose that if you live your live following your dream, it is not only the right thing to do, but it is the most selfless and selfish thing you can do.

Paradox time?  Not really.  You see, by following your dream, inherently you are being selfish.  But this is a good selfish.  You need to be listening to your Inner Artist and following that dream of yours because that is really what you were meant to do.  Your dream is unique, and by doing what you love, you're being the best person you can be, and you need to be relentlessly selfish about this - you can't put it aside for other people, whether it's your dying mother in Bolivia or your favorite teacher, or your boss, or your pastor.  

No matter who tells you otherwise, you need to live up to your full potential and follow your dream.  

At the same time that you're ploughing ahead looking after yourself, realize that by doing that, you're offering your gift to the world.  Maybe it's your unique way you look at the world (visual artists), or your pursuit of a new taste (culinary artist), or maybe it's an exploration of what the human body can do (dancers and performing artists).  Regardless, your dream is yours alone and if you can find that voice and follow it, you will reach your full, awesome potential.  

By being the best person you can be, you will undoubtably come across ways to give back.  Whether it's performing at a charity ball, or donating your art for a fundraiser, or maybe it's creating a path for an underrepresented group of people to follow in your footsteps, you will be able to give back selflessly while you selfishly pursue your own dream.  

As Chris Guillebeau puts it, you will be able to become a true key dropper.  As your dream manifests itself via your own selfish motivations and actions, make sure that when it's possible to do so, help out others along the way.  Drop keys for people to open doors.  Don't create cells by trying to shut out people asking for advice - drop keys.  

So go out there and do something for yourself.  Put yourself on that path towards following your dream, and opportunities to give back to your communities and the people who help you along will manifest themselves.  Don't hold anything back, and go after what YOU want.