Overcoming Artist Block: Shame

When I was in high school, I told my school counselor that I wanted to be an art director. She handed me some pamphlets for technical schools around the city and with pity in her voice, suggested that I should consider nursing or being a mechanic.

I tried not to listen. I took my very first film class at city college and made my very first film project. Looking back, it was the beginning of my experimentation with cinematography and the bud of my love for storytelling. The film I made was a 10 minute clip of a "cat-and-mouse" chase between a spy agent and ninja thief.

Granted it was my first film, the editing was a bit crude,  and I was on a steep learning curve. . .but
I was very proud that I had created something out of nothing. I had created a story out of 8mm tape and a camera. I showed it to my boyfriend at the time.

He laughed. He rewinded the tape and laughed again. The sound from my film was drowned by his laughter. My film wasn't supposed to be funny at all. "You've got a long way to go," he added.

I tried not to listen. My film teacher acknowledged my camera skills. He wanted me to help him with his storyboards for a commercial pitch he was putting together for "famous tv executives." I thought it was my chance to break into the field and learn from someone who was a professional. Then I found out that he was fired from his last studio, had to take up a gig teaching at city college, and was desperate to break in again. He also made a comment about the color of my skirt. Was it my talent and help did he want or was it something else?

I tried not to listen.

Though I kept getting back up, each incidents chiseled at my budding young artist self. By the time I realized what was happening, it was too late. I was blocked. I hadn't picked up a camera in seven years.

Most artist blocks are grown from toxic shame. As artists we are often shamed into silence. "You think yourself an artist? Don't make me laugh." "Just who do you think you are?!" "How dare you disturb the lineage of doctors, bankers, lawyers, etc in our family?" "How dare you write and paint stories about your own life, think of your parents!" "how dare you make that? (it's awful, lacks substance, it's kitch)" "How dare you make anything at all?" "How dare you make monsters? That's creepy and no one will want it hung in their living room."  "How dare you paint in that weird style when James Jean is what's in." "What will the neighbors say about you going to art school?"

Being artists often means being visible. We are bringing to light stories about ourselves, our cat, our mom, our neighbors, about our country, the state of human beings, the world, things that people don't want to hear. Don't want to see. And being visible scares people. We "draw from our own experience and we draw our experience" (Julia Cameron) and people often don't want to face the truth of what we are projecting in our art. So they try to sweep it under the rug. With a smirk, a scoff, a pity, a laugh, with some under-the-breath words that are painful to feel.

So we hide ourselves. For our own safety, we bundle up our artist self and hide her under the bed until it is safe to come back out. We lock her up and throw away the key for until when we think society will be ready for us. And so we wait.

We wait. The artist self knows the waiting game all too well. Wait until I make that big break, then people will recognize me. They will value me. They will not dare treat me like that again. Wait until my parents accept my art, then I can become an artist. Wait until the kids are old enough, then I can take some classes at city college. Wait till I have more money for a better art equipment, then I can finally tell my grand story. Wait till I polish my skills in secret, so that he may never laugh at me again.

But the problem is, it is no one's job to give us the signal that it is safe now. The power is in our hands. We cannot wait until our mothers, uncles, lovers, teachers or the art world recognize us and allow us to make our art. The signal may never come. Your artist self may be dead by the time we open up the closet again. So it's time to take her out. Give her a big hug. Assure her that she is safe to make art now. She will be protected from nay-sayers. That she has the power, right now, to choose yes to life. Yes to art. She has the power. And she does dare disturb the universe. She dares to make art.

And you can too. Shame can be broken when the experience is brought to light, in full honesty, to supporters, therapists, or artist-friendly people like Monkey + Seal who understand the pain of creating. The doubts and the intimacy of making art needs to continually be nurtured. Take a step forward today, even if it is awkward, even if you've forgotten how to draw, write, knit, make one small commitment to re-awaken your dreams within. It is never too late. And you are not alone. You can do this. You have the power to step forward.

The Power of "Just a Little Bit More"

"I will not fail my friends..just a little bit more..."

In our everyday lives, we often slide down the slippery slope of mediocrity.  Whether it's sleeping in "just a little bit more" or it's "just a little bit more" before you turn off facebook and get back to creating,   "just a little bit more" ends up rolling into a huge pile of procrastination.  This, in turn, transforms itself into a barrier from you becoming extraordinary.

While there is nothing wrong with being ordinary, if you really wanted to be ordinary, I doubt you'd be reading this.  You're here because you hate that feeling of mediocrity that we all get (no seriously, from painters who are known the world over to Monkey + Seal) from time to time.

That dull feeling of not doing enough, that there is not enough time, that your work isn't ______ enough, that you don't know the right people or that it's just so damn hard to get up and stop watching anime and crappy horror movies on Netflix.  Mediocrity is that feeling of "just a little bit more" of watching television, or playing video games.

While we always want everyone to stay healthy and be sustainable, don't confuse sustainability with procrastination.  Also, while we believe that everyone will make it to their dreams someday, you can make "someday" come a lot sooner if you hustle and get down to creating.

So how do you defeat "just a little bit more" and move on to realizing your amazing true self?   We admit, it's especially hard since it's so easy to ride that slippery slope into "just one more," then "just one more," on repeat until you have bed sores and your eyes are burning from too much exposure to computer monitor radiation.  Well, you don't.  The thing that you change is what you do "just a little bit" more.

When it's late at night and you're working on a painting, think "just a little bit more."  When you're dancing and your legs are getting tired but you're wondering when you should quit, think "just a little bit more."

Overnight, no one goes from unknown to mega-celebrity, from student to master, from hobbyist to professional.  No one goes from being shy about your art to speaking about it in front of curators, or from getting stage fright to completely owning a stage without hard work.

We get it.  Doing stuff that helps realize your true potential is really difficult work.  You have to do things that you know you should be doing even though they might make you feel uncomfortable.  But if you do them "just a little bit more," they'll become easier and easier.  So try pushing yourself "just a little bit more" and start to realize that badass artist that you really are.

Top 3 Reasons To Be A Solo Artist

Some say that it's better to go it alone in life.  After all, you only have yourself to take care of, nothing to hold you down, and plus you get to take all the credit for yourself.  Who would want to find a close-knit, supportive community of artists?  Who wants artist friends or a support group of others who have been there and done that?

We assume you don't, so today, we wanted to bring you the top 3 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Find An Artist Community.

1.  You Don't Want To Get Far

Finding a community of artists, whether it's in person or via online, usually helps you create connections with other artists.  Monkey + Seal have found that through these connections, we've been able to both help careers along, as well as be helped ourselves.  Through our networks, we've found jobs, gigs, cool new opportunities, and friends.  So if you don't want any of that, and you want to slave away by yourself doing everything the hardest way possible, please, by all means, stay away from communities.

By communities, we mean don't find friends who like to go to gallery openings, or don't join online communities like Deviant Art or various Facebook and LinkedIn Groups.  If you went to art school, make sure you cut off all contact with your classmates and former teachers, and don't take part in any alumni groups or meet-ups.

For the love of all that is holy, make sure you stay away from communal art groups, or drawing meet-ups, or any sort of art making that might happen in a public place with other people - these are the most dangerous of all if you want to fly solo.

2.  You Enjoy Artists' Block

Often times, when we get stuck in the process of creating, besides pushing through it, an easy way to get past it is to find new inspiration, or ask for help from other artists who you trust.  We're sure you can see where we're going with this.

If you enjoy the gut-wrenching frustration of Artists' Block, be sure to not make other artist friends who you can get opinions from.  Definitely don't live with another artist, as we've found that living together has shattered our Artists' Block countless times.

Other artists provide new insights into our own work, or perhaps they might share a resource that might inspire you or give you more information that you needed to push through.  Maybe a fresh pair of eyes might help that composition you were struggling with, or maybe they've worked with an epoxy that might help out your sagging sculpture that you've been fighting.

So please, if you just absolutely love getting stuck and not being able to get past the block that stops you, make sure that you don't make other friends who are artists!

3. You Love Feeling Unsafe and Like Poop

Multiple rejections are a part of being a professional artist.  Our field is highly subjective, and having a barrage of blows to your self-confidence can be crippling if you're by yourself.  Obviously, if you love feeling beat down and potentially scared to make art, having a group of like-minded people alongside you to remind you that your art IS VALUABLE and IS IMPORTANT would not be your cup of tea.

Having a network of other people who have been there, or are there fighting alongside you can help restore your confidence.  Hearing stories of successful artist friends who have also been rejected or have had to submit portfolios again and again to finally land that dream job can really help someone who is going through the rough time that being an artist can entail.  So if you don't like to feel great and be reminded about how totally subjective our field is, then please, stay away from artist communities.

You need to be especially wary of having good artist friends who are willing to honestly and safely critique your work when you are trying new things.  Whether it's a new style, subject matter, or new medium, showing it to your core group of trusted artist homies probably isn't a good thing if you want to be ruthlessly beat down and told you suck.  If you want to feel like crap, create for a void, where you will have no one to validate your ideas, and you can let that monstrous whirlwind of self-doubt win out over your logical mind and crush your artistic dreams forever.

So please, dear artists, if you have any disregard for your own artist's soul, your artistic well-being, your ability to create, or your professional career, please, stay away from finding your tribe.  Don't make close friends who you can trust to nurture your art and your vision.  Stay away from artist communities that foster new work and will help you grow both as an artist and a professional.  Please, please, please do not continue to read this blog, as Monkey + Seal are working to create a new community of artists who are supportive and caring over competitive and criticizing.  Don't look for our new updates on how to become members of the upcoming online cabal of artists!

Creative Energy

"Some days I can take on a storm. Other days, I am a worm crawling towards the finish line."

The act of creating takes up a lot of energy. This energy is usually different for every artist and it is also different at every stage of the creative process. Too often that not, artists don't understand their own energy flow and it creates a kind of logjam that prevents them from being effective or doing anything at all.

Usually when we start a project, we're swept away with the fervor and excitement of something new, then towards the middle we run out of steam, then we either crawl towards the end, jog steadily, or sprint by exhausting all our muscles and crash afterwards.

Image your creative energy is like water in a kettle, sometimes it is low, cold inside the steel pot, and still. Other times, it is boiling, hot, full of steam and you can hardly contain yourself. But if you are too still, your water will mold. If you are too much full of steam, you'll evaporate and run out of water. So if you are in either extremes, you are not being effective with your energy.


In order to create most effectively, you need to figure out which energy patterns you have. What works for you and what doesn't work and how you can turn on your internal stove to just the right temperature at a given moment.


For someone who has a lot of ideas, but can't settle on one to start with, their energy path is a like hurricane, wind blowing every which way, but there is no predictable direction. For someone with tunnel vision for  mini tasks and details but not the overall picture, their energy is like a tornado, unaware of the peripheral. For someone who needs a rushed deadline, an audience to perform in front, and a build up of excitement in order to create, their energy is like a tsunami, overwhelming themselves and others.

It is also possible to create with the energy of a steady low murmuring boat ride across a still water while blaring an anthem over the speakers. The same as it is also possible to create with the energy of paddling upstream against choppy waves while humming a lullaby. Over time, you'll discover the right energy patterns for yourself and your creative process.

With Seal, sometimes an idea comes with a loud bang, but most often than not they come as a quiet whisper, "hey, it may be fun to try this." It is hesitant, timid, but curious. Then as she mulls over the project over the span of several days and weeks, she starts to pick up speed. She finds references, inspirations, jots down notes, and the project catches wind. But towards the middle of her creative journey, the boat slows down. She is full of doubts, "is this the right way to go?" "where was I going with this?" But instead of wasting energy mulling in circle she uses up and contains her energy through meditation in other activities. She hits up yoga, do other hobbies, and comes back, with affirmative answers. "Yes, keep going." or "No, wrong way. Time to shelf that idea until it matures for another time. Back to square one." But knowing that she has similar energy patterns, Seal is able to remedy the sluggish slow areas by doing other activities and to practice containment during the rapids.

For someone like Seal, whose energy tends to be low. She needed some excitement.
Last week, she went to the trampoline warehouse called House of Airs. Even though she had creative deadlines looming,  by jumping up and down, she was getting "pumped" to tackle the next project. She even thought she could soar if she flapped her wings a bit.

For someone like Monkey, who has a lot of energy to bounce off the walls naturally. He needed some containment. In order to contain the energy, he needed to figure out which projects to prioritize, how much time he could allot to each, allocate specific energies to get each task done. He also uses up the extra energy on computer games, screen printing, and producing multiple works at one time, so he's not just focus on one project intensely then run out of steam later. He also practices containment by genuinely enjoying each moment, whether that is work, driving, painting, screenprinting, walking to the gallery, or seeing friends. In each activity, he focuses on the enjoyment of every breath, so no energy is wasted.

So what is your energy level like? Do you have a pattern? What activities or "non-activities" can you do to balance and or call upon during specific areas in your creative process?

Keeping It Fresh - Fighting Apathy

Over the course of an artist's career, you may find yourself getting apathetic about art.  WHAT?  How can that be?  Art is my lifeblood!!  We can hear the collective gasps.

But seriously, when you're doing art for a living, you can start feeling almost hostile to it.  But it's not like you're putting it off because you're procrastinating:

"Hey you painting, shut up!  Just sit over there in that corner, unfinished, and don't bother me until I'm done with this super-important game of Settlers online!"

It's more like you know the painting is unfinished, but you've stopped caring.

"Huh?  Oh yeah, hey painting.  Not done?  Wait, what's for lunch again?"

Obviously, this is not a good thing.  No one wants to find that you have stopped caring about what is supposed to be your passion in life - then it wasn't your passion in the first place, right?

Wrong.  If you're finding that the single thing that you've loved to do isn't getting you excited, it's probably because you 1) have not been rewarded properly, 2) are overworked, or 3) a combination of the two.

How do you shake this funk off and get on with it?  First, we should identify why you're feeling apathetic, and then we can talk about how to freshen up your mood.

If you're doing art (especially art you actually care about), but it's not gaining any traction, it's easy to get discouraged.  Maybe you're doing stuff you love but for a boss who doesn't care.  Or perhaps you've just designed the coolest building ever, but the client wants something boring.  Or maybe you've busted your ass to come up with a whole new body of work but people keep telling you that they like your older work better.  Whatever it is, if you've been working hard and were really excited about whatever you were doing, the biggest buzzkill is for other to not share your excitement.

You see, apathy usually is created as a form of self-defense.  Because you've been disappointed in the past, your brain tells you that you shouldn't try as hard, or that maybe you shouldn't try at all, because it doesn't want to get disappointed again.  Just like with most things, you are your own worst enemy.  The more you care about something and the more that care doesn't get translated into rewards (whether that's winning a prize or getting lots of compliments or selling a piece), in the case of apathy you start to get discouraged, and think "Well, it wasn't what I really wanted anyway."

A slightly different instance that might create apathy is known in some circles as "just plain exhaustion."  If you're being overworked, chances are that you're just literally too tired to create.  Whether you're being overworked in your art or a volunteer position or in a job, your body is trying to save itself from exploding in a huge ball of fatigue, stress, lack of sleep, and what is probably a bunch of caffeine, sugars, and other things that you stuff yourself full of to keep going without having to pause to eat a healthy meal.  Once again, your body is kicking into self-defense mode to preserve you: "Eh, it's not really that important to me.  Well, that frees up some time to maybe nap or actually eat something."

In either/both cases, the feelings of apathy are created as a means of self-preservation.  It's either fear or lack of energy that's causing your body and mind to literally avoid your art.  To be honest, getting excited about your work and doing it takes up a lot of emotional and physical energy, and your body is lacking either or both.

So how do you keep it fresh and re-energize yourself so that you can find your passion?  Well, we hope it's obvious  how to fix the second scenario - the one where you're running on fumes (if it's not - remember sustainability and take care of yourself!  Get some sleep!  Rest!  Meditate and destress!) However, for the emotional side of things, it really helps to take a step back and remember why you're an artist in the first place.

You're an artist because you love to create.  Sure, we'd all love to make a million dollars off of every creation we make, but really, you still go out there and create because you love to do it.  Deep down, we just want to create, but because we live in a world of media hounds and capitalism, these outside indicators of success (praise, money, etc) have grown to replace that inner joy you get from making something that you love.

External success are usually a good thing, but when the business end of art becomes more important than making art, we're losing a crucial part of ourselves, and we start to rely on that outside affirmation for the buzz that we used to get just from creating.  This is usually okay if you're getting all those outside indicators, but we feel like you shouldn't rely on it.  What happens if you stop getting praised, or sales of your work has slowed?  

So in the end, you have to treat creation like you'd treat a relationship.  After years, you may think you know most everything about your partner, you might fall into a comfortable routine, you might sort let yourself go.  Long-term relationships, like the one you have with your art, are all about communication and keeping it interesting.  The best thing is that you're not committed to your art like you probably should be with your partner - your oils aren't going to get jealous if you go dabble in some collage or printmaking.  Maybe you should try painting in a new style, or maybe you just need to take a small break.

The key to fighting apathy is really to rekindle that love you have for creation.  As your career progresses, there's a lot of pressure to "make something good" or "create something that sells," but you need to keep in mind that art should be fun.  Let yourself make something without judgment of whether it's good or not - just make sure it's fun.  Draw a stick-figure comic if you're a photorealist painter, or go take some photos if you're a writer, or write a short story if you're a woodcarver.  Just remember to have fun and to savor that feeling of creating just for creation's sake.  You'll remember why you picked up art in the first place.

Get a hobby, that’s not art!

  

One day, I woke up and I didn’t want to do art anymore. I thought it was boring. I wanted to read, to see the world, do crossword puzzles, laundry - anything but art. Though I love it and give it everything I’ve got. That was exactly the problem.

Here at Monkey and Seal, we are always encouraging you to follow your art. To cultivate it. To dream it. To pursue it wholeheartedly with focus and intention. Now we encourage you to get a hobby that’s not art.

To put art in a special jar. Water it. Now, go do something else.

The funny thing about art is that it stagnates when you look at it too much, but grows faster when you are simply enjoying life fully. That means, going to the movies, seeing friends for coffee, or trying something new like belly dancing.

If you lock yourself up in your room, studio, or office to create art for long periods of time, it’s pretty much the same thing as a work prison for your inner artist. You can be inside one of the most spectacular hotel suite, or dream studio, but if you don’t have anything else besides art and art is your only goal, you’re still going to feel like a caged bird performing tricks doing the expected routines. Stare at the same four corners every day and you’ll find yourself quickly drained of new ideas. 

When art becomes the sole focus of attention, then art becomes very “serious.” And when we become “serious,” we become very uptight, solemn, and predictable. BUT hobbies, take the “seriousness” out of your art-making process, and introduces playtime.  

Yes, there is more to life than art. GASP. And by exploring other aspects of your life and interest aside from your main art, you’ll be greatly rewarded by creativity. By doing other things you'll expose yourself to new inspiration, outlook, and experience. With art, you can’t predict when an inspiration strikes.

So walk about. Take up biking, container gardening, fencing, or whatever hobby suits you.

Our brain is wired to process new information. While you are taking a “break” from art, your brain is furiously making connections with your new activities. Your next sculpture idea can come from the anatomy of a flower. The next film idea from the latest crime investigation news or the local mysterious Laundromat. The next crochet pattern idea comes from the sushi bar where you and your friends last ate.

Other than being an artist, what 5 other hobbies and lives can you have?

For Seal, she is a crime investigator journalist, a dancer, martial artist, a chef, and an architect. One of her hobbies is actually to investigate a crime through multiple news reports and spot inconsistencies. She is an arm-chair detective and her interest in journalism brings up many novel ideas for a film she’s working on. When she’s stumped on her painting, she also likes to do yoga or go for a run in the neighborhood. She has made friends with some of the local cats and she always stops by the row of stargazing lilies growing on Presidio and Broadway St. These activities actually help her to focus on her art when she’s back in the studio, and bring fresh takes to an otherwise repetitive art-making patterns.

Hobbies allow art to always become new adventures. Instead of a dreary day of art making. Art becomes a wink and a smile before and after work. With stolen glances in the middle of a busy street. A surprise visit during lunchtime. An afternoon nap. In bed with cinnamon hot cocoa. When art is balanced between attention, care, and immersion, with playfulness, distractions, and leisure, every time you return to the canvas, it will be refreshing.

So, what 5 other hobbies and lives can you have?

Put Off Your Project To Get Off Your Ass

While some of you out there may be struggling to get inspired to create, there are some artists out there who struggle with an overflow of ideas.  While at first glance, this might seem like an awesome thing, but it can be paralyzing to have hundreds of different ideas in your head that you want to express, yet you don't know where to start.

Maybe you have a story for a graphic novel or three, as well as some character designs you'd like to do, and an idea for a film, and a photography project you'd like, as well as some t-shirt designs and ideas for your wedding invitation design, etc. etc. etc.  The list goes on, and you maybe are just overflowing with stuff you want to do, but there's never enough time to do all of it (especially if you're also doing a day job, juggling obligations to friends and family, and you know, living life.)

If you don't suffer from this dilemma, one might not understand how potentially crippling this is.  You might say "Yeah, but at least you got ideas," but the truth is it is sort of like being given your choice of being able to eat one single dish of anything you'd like in the world.  You start thinking "I really like this..but what about..this?"  You don't want to waste this awesome opportunity, so you start weighing your options.  You really want the seared swordfish with the mango salsa, but then you've never tried the sauteed water spinach with 17 different herbs and marinated tofu.  But you don't even know if you like tofu or if you'll get sick of it, because there's also that weird thing that you've never eaten because it's $200 a pound, but what if you don't like it...you know nothing about it, so you start to google everything, and then it becomes one big massive information overload and the clock is ticking and you're not even eating anything but you're starting to salivate thinking about all this awesome food and it sucks that you only get to choose one thing, but what do you choose since everything looks so good and while you might want something familiar are you really going to blow this chance to try ANYTHING over a simple bowl of mac and cheese?

Yep, that's sort of what idea-overload is like.

If you do suffer from idea-overload, you'll probably be familiar with the overwhelming sense of confusion over what to do right now.  Sure, you know that you want to do all of these things, but where do you start?  It's so daunting to have five bazillion long-term projects that you want to do.  What project do you prioritize?  You don't want to lose steam or forget an idea, what do you do?

The answer is simple, friends, what you need to do is put it off.  Whaa?  Yes, well, sort of.  The first thing you need to do is voice memo, or write, or somehow record all of your ideas and projects, however you work best. Just make sure it's someplace you can find later.  Monkey personally likes sketchbooks and google docs, but that's just him (he also makes it a point to revisit old sketchbooks every 6 months or so to find old inspiration).  So get all the ideas down out of your head.

Now, go take a break.  Walk around the block, or meditate, or watch some crap TV, or read some fiction, or otherwise take your mind off creating something.  Focus on something else.  Now, revisit your list, looking at everything at once, and whatever project tugs at your heartstrings the most, do that one, and put all your other projects away.  If you need to be more analytical about this, prior to the break you can make charts and pros and cons and how-long-will-this-take evaluations and comparisons, and all of that stuff, but I say go with your gut in this case.

Know that you'll have more time later to devote to your other projects, but not only will you be able to start, but you'll also be able to handle the project that you want to do most.  This is important, as if you try to do a little work on everything at once, you'll easily get bogged down with the lack of momentum on any one project, and you'll end up not getting anything done.  Multitasking is a myth, as we've talked about before, and every time you switch gears, you lose momentum.

At Spectrum Live, concept art hero Ian McCaig talked about how he's been working on a story for 25 years(!).  He knows the importance of working when the time is right, and not forcing a project when it's not ready.  This is the other benefit of choosing what to work on from a pure-inside-your-heart way of thinking.  Forcing your creativity when you're working on a commercial project is one thing, but if you're doing something for yourself, then really go with your internal flow and don't rush things.  Feel free to put things down and restart them.

So put off the huge bunch of stuff, and deal with one (or two) things at a time, but realize that you can always stop and start something else up.  The point is to not do that too frequently, and to not rush yourself to work on a project that isn't ready.  So let your projects simmer if they need to, and that'll get you off and going.