How to Handle Rejection

Bottom of the 9th, down by 3, 2 outs, bases loaded, 2 strikes . . . you can still make a one-hit winning comeback.

Monkey here:

If you've ever experienced rejection for your art, you know how much it can suck. As an artist, you put so much of yourself into your work that, especially in a subjective field, rejection can really sting. Whether it's not getting called back after an audition, or getting a negative portfolio review, or being rejected from an illustration annual, rejection is never fun.

So how do you bounce back? How do you get over the fact that the person judging your art deems it wasn't right for whatever opportunity you're looking for? Well for starters, realize that rejection is just an opportunity to try again. But I realize that's easier said than done, and I hate to answer a question with another question, but most of the good answers in life are like this, so I'm doing it anyway. To figure out how to move on, you have to ask yourself "Why do I want this in the first place?"

Why do you want that gallery show? Why do you want that part? Is the answer recognition? Fame? Money? Or something more intangible? If you really just wanted recognition, you could always go back to school and try really hard in your classes and study and get A's and then show off your 4.0 GPA - it's a tangible, objective achievement that people can be proud of. If it's fame, you can always be a serial killer - no one really forgets them. If it's money, there's always thievery or prostitution, or simply some 9-5 job that you can take.

Yes, I know these are all extreme examples of ways to get recognition or fame or money, but really I bet your answer is a bit more nuanced than any of these. I bet that you're actually looking for recognition as an artist and to be able to live off your art. After all, that's the dream, right? To be able to do what you love and get paid for it.

So then, if you're chasing the dream to do what you love and get paid for it, isn't it painful when you face setbacks and rejection? Oh most definitely. So how do you get over it?

The answer to that should be really obvious at this point.

What are you going to do, are you going to stop doing what you love? So life has pushed you around a bit. You haven't heard from the galleries you sent your portfolio to. Your photos aren't selling. You lost money on the last few craft shows. What are you going to do, just stop?

Really, life can be painful sometimes. But is it going to be more painful doing what you love and not getting outside approval of your work, or is it going to be more painful not doing what you love and losing part of your soul? Honestly, if you're willing to just give up on your dream, then you have to ask yourself is that all your dream ever amounted to? Was it really your true passion to begin with?

I used to always think that my dream was to get into a huge gallery and sell my paintings for thousands of dollars. That's still my goal, but I've realized that if that never happens, it won't be the end of the world because I realize that in a way, I'm currently living the dream. I get to paint - and the act of creating art is what is really enjoyable. Don't get me wrong, I love getting into gallery shows and selling art and figuring out how to make money off my art, but when I don't hear back from a gallery I've sent my portfolio to, I keep asking myself "what are you going to do, quit? Am I going to stop doing what I love just because a gallery doesn't drop everything to curate me into the next available show?"

You never know why you didn't get into a show, or an annual, or get that lead role, or whatever. Things like that aren't a reflection of your worth as an artist. Maybe your price point was too low, or too high. Maybe the gatekeeper (forget about them and rush the gates already!) already had someone else in mind. Maybe you're a really fucking amazing artist, but they just liked someone else's submission a little bit better. Maybe your style just wasn't their thing, or they only like paintings with ducks and flowers (or alternatively, demons and skulls). Who knows?

The point is that you can't give up. Don't let the thing that you love to do slip away. No matter how many years it takes, or to what level of commercial success you'll ever make it to, you can't stop doing what you love. Don't let external forces tell you how to live your life. In the end, all those people don't matter -you're the final arbiter of how successful your life is.

I honestly hope that art comes easy for you and that people compliment your work as soon as they see it, and all your magical dreams of being a world-renowned artist comes true (or whatever your dreams are). Do what you love, and if you chase that dream wholeheartedly, the other stuff (commercial success, external acclaim, etc. etc.) will come along (if you so desire). Now get out there and do your thing. After all, are you just going to quit, or are you going to keep on keeping on?

Getting Your Work Out There - Part 1

Today, we wanted to talk about the importance of getting your work out there into the world. This is the first part of a 3-part series we're going to have here on the blog. This is more about overcoming some of the psychological hurdles of showing off your art. Part 2 will cover the reasons (from a business perspective) why you should get your art out there, and Part 3 will deal with some practical ways to do so.

So the biggest hurdle a lot of artist have for not showing off their work is fear. Admittedly, it's scary to show off something as personal as your work. What if they don't say anything? What if they don't like it? What if they hate me because of it? What if they never stop talking to me and throw rotten tomatoes and kick me into the gutter and then hit me with a car because of it?

Sound familiar? Often, our fears suddenly start spiraling out of control when we think about the potential negative consequences of showing people our work. We imagine these worst-case scenarios where we're suddenly thrown out of the village and forced to live off of rocks just because someone wasn't all that into our work. This is not healthy, but totally understandable.

After all, your work is personal. For creatives, it's hard to distinguish between ourselves and our work. If our work gets praised, we feels like we're being praised. If the work gets criticized, we feel like they're criticizing us. What our goal is, however, is to separate the two so that our work is different than ourselves. When someone critiques your work, don't take it personally. If someone tells you that your anatomy is off, then double-check your work - is your anatomy off? Even if it isn't, is the character in a pose that even though it looks that way in real life, might look like the anatomy is off?

While there are the people out there who will offer no helpful criticism and will say stuff like "I just don't like that painting" or "I think that's kinda dumb," those people really are few and far between. Also, they're generally other artists who are a)jealous of either the attention you're getting or the fact that you're showing your work and they aren't, b)are insecure and anything that isn't their work isn't very good, or c)just don't know how to properly give criticism. Either way, they're asshats who you shouldn't even take seriously, because they're jerks to everyone.

That said, you might be thinking "But those people ARE out there!!! Now it's time for me to hide back under my blankey." No! Don't go back in there, no matter how warm and fuzzy it might be!

Seriously, those people make up maybe .02% of all the people that show up to gallery shows, or craft fairs. If people aren't into your stuff (and the truth is, not everyone will be - there are people who don't like Norman Rockwell's stuff,), they usually just won't say anything.

Back to fear. Like we said before, often we let them overwhelm us until we want to crawl under a rock. Really though, what is the worst that could happen? Is the world going to end because they don't like your art? Are your friends going to turn on you and chase you with pitchforks because of your art? A good exercise to start taming your end-of-the-world scenario fears is to write them down. What exactly is really going to happen, at worst, if people don't like my art? Answer that question, and actually write it down. Don't just think about it, put it down on paper.

Maybe if you are submitting pro-Nazi illustrations and are showing in a Jewish Community Center, things might be a bit severe. But otherwise, it's generally not so bad. At worst, you get a bad review in a local paper. So what? Is that really the end of the world, or even the end of your career? We think not. If you're afraid of submitting that book proposal to a publisher, what's the worst thing that could happen? You don't hear back, or you get a rejection letter. If you're afraid of submitting your work to a gallery for review? You don't hear back. Really, is that so crushingly terrible?

Another thing you can do is to start thinking about all the awesome things that could happen. So you might get rejected from that book deal. But what if you actually got it? Say you get rejected by a huge gallery...but what if they asked you to do a solo show? What if you audition for that movie role, and got the lead? Just as important as it is to write down what might go wrong, you should definitely write down what might go right. It'll help to put you in a positive mindset that will help your brain figure out ways to make it happen.

While we both constantly battle with fear and uncertainty, we find that writing your fears down and really being honest and realistic about it will really make them more manageable. Even more importantly, realize that when you're starting out, you have everything to gain, and not much to lose. You could get that solo show, or a lead role. You could get your film produced, or that script bought. So get some paper and a pen, do some quick exercised, and then get out there and show 'em what you've got!