Triumphing Over Fear

Monkey here. Just a FYI, the illustration this week is a bit more graphic than usual and may be disturbing to sensitive readers.  I also talk about assassination attempts and violence (and yes, I tie it all back into creating and art), so if that might bother you, please come back next week.  The post starts (with the illustration) after the jump.

Working + Resting

There is a myth among artists, that you are either “lazy” – “not creating as much as you should be” or you are a “hustler” – “always working without rest.” They are both false and dangerous myths. There doesn’t seem to be room in the equation for a moderate, sustainable and successful artist. It’s rare to meet such a person: who can be both creative, hardworking, yet also has a healthy social life and rest periods. We don’t seem to have much role models in the “balanced artist” department.

Seal grew up watching her immigrant parents worked hard to the bone. They ran themselves ragged trying to meet the family’s basic needs. Sometimes they work two jobs, both the day and night shift. But when her family acquired enough to live by, and sometimes more than enough, her parents who had been working all their lives also did not know how to take a break. When they came home from work, they would hurry unto the next cleaning or cooking project. When Sunday came around, Dad would start vacuuming the house at 8am. He would burst into the bedroom with the vacuum roaring and made sure to hit every corner before he walked out again and slammed the door. I got the message that I was lazy for sleeping past 8am. When my sister and I tried to watch Batman weekdays at 5pm after completing our homework, they would glare at us funny. As if, “resting and fun time is only for the lazy” and “if you want to be successful in life, you better spend your waking moments working.”

So growing up, Seal thought “breaks were bad” and even if she wanted to, she did not know “how to take a break.” I bet most of us, don’t know how to rest either.

Oftentimes, Monkey + Seal run rampart into the night making art, emailing clients, turning in projects. We often run on very little sleep or break. Most of the time, it is because we are trying to make ends meet or deliver work that cannot wait. But other times, we choose to stay late and push through our own self-imposed deadlines (although we are trying to change that). The result is, we sure get a lot done, but we’re also cranky, exhausted, and deprived of rest and life outside of work or art. We often forget that “how you spend your day is how you spend your life . . . “ And if your life is all about work and art with very little room for friends, self care, or rest, then you’re really running yourself into the ground without enjoying the journey of being an artist. One day you will wake up and realize that life had passed you by.

Though Seal would like to blame her parents for passing on their workaholism, as an adult now, she realizes that it is up to Seal to allow herself a break and if she doesn’t know how to break, she needs to learn. Only she can break the spell now and wake up. To know that it’s ok to take breaks. It’s normal to take breaks. We all need it, as we need air to breathe and food to sustain us. Our bodies need to regenerate. Our minds need to refill the creative well. And counter to beliefs, breaks allow a person to actually be more productive and resilient through the next strenuous work challenges.

So as Seal is learning on how to take a break, she would like to share some guidelines that she found to be helpful:

1. When you’re tired, take a break. Think as if you are a baby. When a baby is tired, it gets cranky. So we put the baby to sleep. When Seal is tired, her eyes get heavy, she will start munching on something even though she’s not hungry, and she’ll get really annoyed at every little thing. That’s when the red lights go off. Oh oh! Body is deprived. Need a bath, tea time,10minute shut eye, or a full nap. You’ll figure out your own personal cues to tell you that you are tired.

1. Figure out what constitutes as a “break” or “rest” for you. No emails after 6pm. Tea time at 4pm. Sleep 8 hours regardless (if you have flexible schedule). A movie night. Music for 15minutes with eyes closed. Everyone has different ways of feeling “rested.”

1. Resting while in Motion or in order words Resting while Working Sometimes it feels like there is no choice to but to work a lot. Especially when rent is due, bills are piled up, or client project is on the line. In cases like those, we still need to be proactive and “choose” to work. Focus on the brush contacting the canvas. Focus on the words being t-y-p-e-d into the email. Focus on the present moment of breathing in and out, hearing the hum of the computer. Focus on the voice of your client. See if you can find the breath of all things even within the “mundane.” That way, when you are super focused, work won’t feel like work. And you’ll get it done twice as fast.

1. Know when “it is enough” You are enough. Stop. A big part of the reason that it’s hard to rest and be successful is that we don’t know when it is enough. When it’s time to rest or when it’s time to push against the mountain. We often confuse satisfaction/happiness with “career success.” Many are too often fixated on being bigger and better that we don’t enjoy the process. We are so focused on learning new skills as an artist, absorbed in our chosen field (because we love it so much) that we’ve buried our heads in the sand like ostriches, and are blind to the beauty of a simple walk through the neighborhood, a cup of coffee with a friend, or the passing of clouds after a rainy day. At some point you’ve got to realize, that although life for an artist is about the art, at the same time, it is also not about the art. When you are six feet underground, you still can’t take your “art,” you skills, or your accomplishments with you to the other side. You’ve got to be fulfilled in the present.

The best part of being an artist is living in the now. Being present at the moment. And whether you are working or resting, being aware of your breath and that you are alive, is the start to being a balanced artist: one that can see work and rest and two sides of the same coin à both starts and ends with fulfillment.

Money + Art

  -->

“Beautiful work!” Seal said to an artist who had a booth at APE.

“Yeah, but I don’t do it full-time,” he countered, “I’m not a professional yet,” he flustered. “I’m not PAID for it yet.” Seal heard the door of a heart slammed shut.

“But your work is beautiful!” She protested. “Whether you are paid for it or not, it doesn’t take away the fact that it’s still beautiful and people notice it.” (A young couple lingers around his table and drops $7 for one of his prints. I look at him in confirmation, see?

“I guess,” he said with a sigh, “but I’m still not paid the ‘big bucks’ and uh, this is a local show, once I get into a National or International gallery, then . . .  then . . . “ he shook his finger at me and trailed off. The entire convention center became very boisterous. I am left alone to my thoughts and I suddenly become very angry.

“Then . . .” WHAT? You can finally believe me? Only when you’re paid the “big bucks” or in a “big institution somewhere” then you will believe that your work is actually beautiful as people think it is? When you get paid and other institutions recognize you, THEN you can finally embrace yourself as an artist? Or “better” yet as a professional artist? You are waiting around for some big institution or high-end client to swoop down from somewhere to come “save you,” and lavish over you art, especially when art is very personal and very subjective and money and pricing proned to inflation, you are waiting and waiting for someone outside of yourself to say that you are a professional artist?

Dude, you’re living in the future that may or may not come while ignoring all the people who are stopping by your table to admire your work. Whether people pay $3 for your art of $30,000 – it is still beautiful.

Don’t discount your artwork! Just because it doesn’t readily translate to big monetary equivalent.

Money is very very subjective. At craftshows, we’ve had “rich” costumers throw their crisp $20 bucks at us for a tshirt, vs. a young boy who was clutching his only $20 allowance and after circling the entire craftshow and our booth 3-4 times, he wholeheartedly gave us his entire savings for a “Create or Die” tshirt. Even though both instances were a purchase of $20, that 20 was worth a world apart difference to us.

It took Seal a while to learn that money or big institutions will never equal to the value of one’s art.

Most everyone I know, including myself, has a money problem. Artists often have double the trouble because we equate money with recognition and value of our work. Given all the myths we’ve heard about being an artist, it’s no wonder why it’s hard to untangle: “art doesn’t make money,” “if you make money as an artist, you’re a sell out,” “art for art’s sake” (don’t pay for it?), “money is greed” “if you become too tall, they’ll cut you at the base” “starving artist” “art is superfluous” “art is selfish” etc etc. It doesn’t help to have a society that is rather unaffected or diminishing towards artists. While other occupations usually have a standard starting pay (think doctors, mechanics, etc.), an artist can be paid anywhere from nothing (a free service) to $100,000 or more for an art piece.

Of course, it’s a challenge to know your true value as an artist. But let me tell you a secret, money isn’t it. Money will never equal the value of your art.

For a long time, especially throughout art school, Seal kept hoping that a big studio would pick her up. Then . . . then . . . she would be recognized for her work. Then . . . only then . . . will people value her. It was the magic pill. Suddenly, if she worked at a big institution, everything will be solved: she would always be creative, she wouldn’t be proned to roller coaster rides of artistic blocks. She would have peer recognition and money (something she didn’t grow up with) and could buy all the reference books and canvases she wants (instead of scouring for found objects, antiques, and wood to paint on). Then, she would be paid the “big bucks” and be labeled a “professional artist.” Then . . . then . . . the prince comes in a magic pumpkin carriage . . .

But this is not reality.

Whether you work full-time, part-time, contract, intership, or as a hobby in art . . . You will still have to deal with artist blocks – it’s part of the process. Whether you are at a big studio, small studio, or in the humble corner of your apartment making art . . . you will have to deal with the day to day frustrations and existential crises of being an artist, you will always have deadlines to meet and critics to face, you will always have to feel unsure when you put your work up. You will still probably have to deal with naysayers and family members who may or may not support you. Whether you are showered with praise, some or not at all, or whether you are paid big, small, or none at all . . . at the end of the day, you will still have to face the biggest challenge – yourself. Do you value yourself as an artist? If money were non-existent and you were the only living human in the world, would you still create art? Would you have fun doing it? Is your current project challenging you as a person?  Does it makes a statement about you as a person? Are you SATISFIED? FULFILLED?

When Seal takes away the myth of getting paid the big bucks and being in a big institution, she finds that she is just very happy to be creating art. She works on an independent film set with inspiring and creative people. Her voice is heard by the director and she can make positive contributions on the project and the people around her. At night, she explores her paintings further. Her limitations on money actually help her to be more creative, as she is forced to find alternative surfaces and new ways to approach a painting. She finds rare antique wood and unthinkable items to incorporate into her art and has expanded beyond the canvas. And people actually like her works on wood better than on canvas as they all have unique grain and texture. She is learning multiple ways to tell stories, to make art, and find her inner voice. She paints and creates comics as she wants. And she’s surrounded by warm encouraging friends who are excited for her and her art. She is in the journey towards knowing herself. She no longer lives in the future, but at the present moment enjoying her life and art-making.

Because the artist at APE is still waiting around for his “big chance,” when it actually comes in the form of people complimenting and buying art from his table, he didn’t notice that he is currently living his dreams, making art and being PAID for it. It was as if he was living on the ground breathing his dreams of being an artist, but still looking hopefully at the sky for something else. He’s waiting around for someone, something outside of himself to ordain him as a professionally paid artist. In the end, it’s not really money or big institution he wants. What he actually wants is someone, something “out there” to shut the critics in his brain and answer the burning question, “am I good enough as an artist?”

And no amount of money or outside recognition will ever fill up that hole, but yourself.

You are enough. You can begin it now. As you are.

Don’t wait for your life to start, to value yourself as an artist. Don’t give power to something outside of yourself to make or break your artistic endeavors. Don’t wait for the big bucks or the big institutions. Because at the end of the day, do you want to create or not? Are you having fun or not? Do you respect yourself as an artist or not?

Sure, having money is nice. And working in a big institution – if it fosters you and is aligned with your values and priorities – is nice too! It’s more than ok to want money or full time work as an artist. And you should definitely be paid for work that you do. And if you live on this earth with other people, you cannot avoid acquiring and spending money on something. We all need shelter, food, and ways to make our art, and even indulgences. But money or big institution should never be the measuring stick for satisfaction, and can never substitute the longing for the final verdict of  “I am a worthy artist.”

If you are living and breathing, you are worthy already. If you are creating, you are worthy already. So start now. Begin and live in the present moment. And create. Live your life because you are a million bucks already.

How to Be Selfish + Selfless

We're back!  

Sorry for the long hiatus everyone.  For all you that are our facebook fans, you'll know that Monkey ended up with strep throat two weeks ago (and most of last week as well), thus much of our focus was on healing him up.  Seal was an excellent nurse, and did much to make sure Monkey didn't die.

Anyway, today we wanted to talk about selfishness.  Our society often gives mixed messages about selfishness.  We often see stories of people who are so obsessed with something (music, art, business, technology, etc.) that they devote their lives to it and selfishly put that love over everything else.  We are told this is the epitome of the American Dream of pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps and following your passion.

We also, however, often get the message that we shouldn't be selfish.  That we should think of society as a whole, that it's saintly to give to others and to give back to the community.  We praise non-profits and community giving and we are often socially rewarded for doing "selfless" things.  Also, especially in certain communities, (religious, immigrant, and/or minority) communities, emphasis can be strongly put on the community over the whole.  Pressure to "put the community over your own needs" can be strong, and it seems like the right thing to do is to be selfless.

However, we'd like to offer a different take on selfishness/selflessness.  We propose that if you live your live following your dream, it is not only the right thing to do, but it is the most selfless and selfish thing you can do.

Paradox time?  Not really.  You see, by following your dream, inherently you are being selfish.  But this is a good selfish.  You need to be listening to your Inner Artist and following that dream of yours because that is really what you were meant to do.  Your dream is unique, and by doing what you love, you're being the best person you can be, and you need to be relentlessly selfish about this - you can't put it aside for other people, whether it's your dying mother in Bolivia or your favorite teacher, or your boss, or your pastor.  

No matter who tells you otherwise, you need to live up to your full potential and follow your dream.  

At the same time that you're ploughing ahead looking after yourself, realize that by doing that, you're offering your gift to the world.  Maybe it's your unique way you look at the world (visual artists), or your pursuit of a new taste (culinary artist), or maybe it's an exploration of what the human body can do (dancers and performing artists).  Regardless, your dream is yours alone and if you can find that voice and follow it, you will reach your full, awesome potential.  

By being the best person you can be, you will undoubtably come across ways to give back.  Whether it's performing at a charity ball, or donating your art for a fundraiser, or maybe it's creating a path for an underrepresented group of people to follow in your footsteps, you will be able to give back selflessly while you selfishly pursue your own dream.  

As Chris Guillebeau puts it, you will be able to become a true key dropper.  As your dream manifests itself via your own selfish motivations and actions, make sure that when it's possible to do so, help out others along the way.  Drop keys for people to open doors.  Don't create cells by trying to shut out people asking for advice - drop keys.  

So go out there and do something for yourself.  Put yourself on that path towards following your dream, and opportunities to give back to your communities and the people who help you along will manifest themselves.  Don't hold anything back, and go after what YOU want.  

Break the Limits of Impossibility

“Impossible” one of the cross-country guys said, “Girls speed peaks around 17-19, if you haven’t hit your marks you won’t get any faster.”

When Seal was in high school, she was in the cross-country club. Her school ranked top ten in Southern California. During senior year, at every race, her buddies in the team would beat their record time. They were getting faster while she plateaued. She asked her friends who were the record holders in the men’s team, how she could improve her running time during a race. What are good habits, form, nutrition, breathing, or extra information that can help her run better?

“Yeah, hate to say it, but boys and girls are made differently. You don’t have the lung capacity or build” they chimed.

During the next race, she came near last. It wasn’t because of an injury, or that she was out of breath, or lacked any previous practices. It was because no one believed in her. No one believed that she could improve, that she could change, that she could blossom. Even she had abandoned herself. “Why bother?” Became the mantra.

That day, Seal learned “limits.” She learned the word: “impossible.”

When she is vending at craft fairs, she sadly often hears this word:

-“Me? Be an artist?”: impossible

-Art school is too expensive: impossible

-There are no jobs, let alone creative jobs, in this recession: impossible

-“Yeah, but doesn’t that mean I’ll have to work a dayjob and create at night?”

Other labels come close to it: weird, stupid, can’t, no, don’t

And whenever she brings up the possibility of them being a potential artist, they counterattack with anger. “No, not for me.” They shrug furiously, “no, no,no. Maybe for you, sure.”  Or “It’s nice to dream, isn’t it?” As if she shook some dust off them, revealing a bright gem inside, but they try quickly to hide it again, because it hurts to think about the possibility. It hurts to think of the potential disappointment. It hurts to think of the lost years. Perhaps that they, too, once held a dream that they have had to give up on. It hurts that no one rooted for them. Or perhaps someone did, but circumstances didn’t play out. Or worse, that at the very heart of it, they had given up on themselves. That they no longer cared. They checked out years ago. They appear as paupers on the outside, but little did they know, that inside they were waiting to explode, inside they are kings and queens.

If this is you- Seal was also this way.

When she wanted to study art: “impossible,” was the retort.

When she wanted to go mountain climbing: “weird” and “stupid,” became the standard reply.

When she thought about going to a four-year university: “can’t afford that” was another favorite.

There is a reason for why people are blocked. For why people are not at their full potential. For why artists hide themselves. For why we “don’t care much.” For why we think things are “impossible.” We have perfectly logical reasons. We are trying desperately to protect ourselves from getting hurt again. From the look of disappointment from our parents/ teachers/ etc. The rejection from our peers, loved ones, or respected people. The heartache of going for a dream is familiar. We don’t want to go through any more of that. We shut the doors. Wall ourselves in. So that the parts that really matter will be so “small inside of us” that it cannot be touched by other people, it can never be doubted or insulted or be dragged out into the open to be laughed at.

Your block is your last ditch attempt to save yourself for a later date, when it is safe to come out. But some of us have forgotten, some of us think it is safer for our artist self to be inside. But your life is like a salamander in a cave who is content with the immediate moss next to him. Little does the salamander know, that life outside of the cave is so rich, filled with sights yet to be seen, adventures yet to be walked, and an abundance beyond his imagination.

So you can make a choice right now. At this very minute. To be with what is familiar, to continue your life as you are with the block, the frustration of not being your full potential, the safety of not having to reach deeper  . . .

Or you can choose to finally affirm that you have a right to be here. That you care about yourself, enough to give yourself another chance. To go for your dreams. That your dreams have always been with you. That when you reach down, you can trust that it is still there. That there is a part of you, even if it is ever so tiny, that had kept your dreams safe for you, and this tiny voice of yours would be really be ecstatic to see you give yourself another try. That you have everything you ever need right here and now.

If you don’t know what your dreams are, you have the best compass to your dreams. It is ironically the voice that kept you safe “Mr/Ms. Impossible.” Ask yourself, what is impossible?

-learn the piano

-be president of the United States

-have a million dollars

-be an artist

Who said it was impossible? Does the voice sound familiar? Was it your mom/dad/teacher/sibling/friend? Maybe you think it is your own voice (thought I doubt it, the inner you, no matter how painful it is, actually wants you to go after your creative voice, but you might have taken the critic voice on to protect yourself).

Once you know who the voice belongs to, what did they want from you? Ok, now what did they really want? (This can be perceived, or real said desires).

I had legitimate reasons to believe that growing up, my relatives didn’t want me to be an artist. They thought it wouldn't make money. They wanted me to marry and settle down. To work hard in the home but not outside of it. They wanted to live next door and be taken care of. They wanted me to preserve our cultural heritage (I was too “American”). They would have been VERY VERY HAPPY if I took on being a lawyer or a doctor, because that was considered “prestigious” and “secure.” (Now some of these things were never actually said, but I definitely got the hint. At Christmas parties, Little Billy who studied medicine and finished his BFA within three years always got the praise while my mother shoots me a look: “see?! You should be more like this.”

Though unproductively and albeit the misguided way - they wanted to protect me. They wanted me to succeed financially. But they didn’t know then. And I didn’t either. That art can be very creatively rewarding and commercially viable job options, if you so choose. A concept artist can make anywhere from $25,000-$120,000 /yr + benefits. A local gallery artist can make about $50-5,000 in a night’s showing. While notorious artists can make $100k+

The other stuff about cultural heritage and expectations, well – they’ll just have to accept me as I am, or not.

Another relative didn’t want me to pursue art because they felt threatened by me following my dreams. Let me tell you a secret, when you start following your dreams, there will be people who will cheer you on and there will be people who won’t. Stay with the camp that wants to see you reach your dreams. This is an unfortunate reality. When you start following your dreams, it is a threat to a lot of people and a stark reminder to them that they need to go for their dreams too. Well – my answer to that is – you cannot make a jealous friend love you or approve of you. Nor should you stop and hide your light under a bushel. You cannot expect that the “people you left behind” will and can free you, even if they might want to. You will have to grieve and give yourself permission to move forward. And lead by example.

Remember when I thought art, mountain climbing, and a four-year university were impossible? Completed all three from scratch. It took me 23 years to come back to art, 10 days to backpack and summit 14,000 ft. Mt. Henry in the Pacific Northwest, and my English teacher at Long Beach City College made it a part of her assignment for everyone to submit an application to a four-year university. At that time, I didn’t believe I could go beyond city college education. The next spring, I received full tuition and scholarships for UC Berkeley to study film and narrative. Seal is also starting marathon training again.

Move towards the realm of possibilities. You can do it.

“Impossible” is just a state of mind, a limiting belief. And a belief is only a theory. At some point people believed the earth was flat. If the only difference between belief in yourself and not belief in yourself is simply a shift in mental attitude, why not choose the more productive stance? Sure your odds might not as perfect in some instances, like being the Best of the Bands if you’ve never played the guitar, but just because chances might be slim now doesn’t mean that it might not open up in the future, or that you shouldn’t try now.

The sizes of our "limits" are only as big or as small as our mind creates them to be.

I was able to “go so far” because of the people who did believe in me, especially when I had given up on myself. But for a majority of my life, I didn’t have this support network, and in that case, you’ll have to believe in yourself first.

If your inner voice is hijacked by Mr/Ms. Impossible, it’s time to replace them with your favorite teacher, you loving relative, your ideal mentor, your unwavering friend. Post all their wonderful comments about how they see you.

Sometimes you have no one else’s permission or care, but yourself. So in that case, it will be hard, but you’ll have to be your best cheerleader and coach. Perhaps you can even write comments about your future self: “Seal has a great eye for cinematography and a steady speed for a marathon”

You have to give yourself permission. You have to care. You’ll have to give to yourself the way you’ve been waiting for someone to give to you.

No matter how hard you or others have tried to stifle your dreams - believe that your true self, even if it only has a tiny voice, knows that “you’re more than enough as you are now.”

Save Yourself From Deprivation

Imagine yourself with a piece of string, tie the ends together and make a circle. Imagine yourself at the center of this circle. Everything inside the encompassing circle is yours. This is what you perceive as your rightful space. How big is the circle? Is it just in one particular room? a corner? at home or at work? by the piano, computer, kitchen, or other rooms? Does it take up other spaces. Do you have many circles?


For a long time, Seal's circle was a very small one about the size of a golf ball, inside of her heart. By the time she went to high school, she had heard so many negative stories about being an artist, she packed up her creative self and left. Checked out. She hid herself well inside that mini circle. On the outside, she looked like a very successful Berkeley graduate with many distinguishing accolades. But inside, her artist self was deprived.


Being a creative artist has a lot to do with how abundant and safe you feel inside. When you feel deprived, your art is cornered, frantic, you feel that if you're not "tapped out" of ideas now, you will be soon, someday.
Often times as artists we deprive ourselves in many ways. We give to others our time, our ideas, our excitement for their projects, but we hardly treat ourselves the same way. We don't hesitate to buy our friends dinner, our date presents, or our community donated time, but we hesitate to buy ourselves that $3 coffee or paper for our new art project, or to carve a studio space in the shared room, or to have 15minutes of relaxation of doing absolutely nothing.

Sometimes we are even stingy with ourselves under the pretext of being busy. Too busy to paint today. Too busy to go for a walk. Too busy making art to have an uninterrupted lunch where we must cram food down in a hurry without tasting it, in front of the computer. Sometimes we deprive ourselves of trust. Must stick to my writing schedule, if not my day will go to shit. Must put in 6 hrs of drawing today, otherwise I'll lounge around playing videogames and not be "productive." We are essentially saying to ourselves, "If I let you have your way, you won't create... you must reign yourself. 'Control' yourself. Must fight laziness, apathy, boredom, general feelings of inadequacy." At the heart of it, we have decided that left to our "nature," we are unruly and need strict regiments to make art. Under such deprivations, no wonder we are tired, angry, rebellious, and still not getting any art done. If are getting any art done, it is like pulling teeth. We forget that inside of us are all the seasons and weathers and we expect our creative self to follow some sort of predictable path. Some days it is raining inside and you want to curl up and read (not write or draw). Some days it is sunny inside and you feel like sharing a coffee with friends (but I must write! you exclaim and deny yourself that much needed break).

We Deprive ourselves of care. of nutrients. of the safety to create.

What are the ways you deprive your artist self? Do you allow yourself a "free" day? Do you replenish your art supplies? Do you allow yourself a second helping when you are hungry? What are "selfish" things you really want to do? Leave work early and paint? Call in a sick day? Bake a cake and eat it all yourself? Say no to calls after 6pm? What are "forbidden" things you are not allowed to do? Quit your job? Buy that $120 pastel set? Take a drawing class? Make a list. This list will help to show you the ways in which you are depriving yourself. Now make it a point to work on getting yourself things on your list. One at a time.

But Monkey and Seal, I can't quit my job now I won't be able to pay rent. We're not abdicating impulsive behavior, especially if it is financially out of your means. But what we are asking is that you start to examine the values that are important to you. If quitting your job is forbidden. Why is that? Perhaps you simply wanted a freer work schedule where you can leave earlier to do you art. Perhaps you have deep seated beliefs about artists not being able to be financially prosperous. Perhaps you are still fighting the ghosts of your parents who once told you that you lacked talent in art. Who knows. But you have to start digging. If you are depriving yourself from being the artist you are truly meant to become, you're going to have to confront yourself. If quitting your job is forbidden and financially out of your means right now, how about taking the first steps? Do you like the actual job that you are doing? If you do, then is it the environment, or the project, the pay or your colleagues? You can be proactive in changing your situation and giving yourself more time and space for your art. Can you take 1-2 days off and work from home? Change projects or negotiate for bigger pay? Take a walk during your lunch break? Buy a used camera from goodwill and start shooting 2 minute videos before work?

Perhaps you think it is selfish or forbidden to buy art supplies? Why is that? Because you may think art is frivolous. extra. people are starving in other countries. how can i buy myself that $120 pastel set? Perhaps you think that you might fail again? if you buy that pastel set, it's not as if you'll use it. get real.

Would you ever treat your friend this way?

If she says, "I'm tired."Do you barrage her in a snarky way, "Well you need to finish this report anyways." NO! You say, "I'm sorry, here, let me fix you a cup of tea.  Or why don't you take a nap or a long bath." If she's frantic and says, "I need to write. omg, I've been so bad." Do you say, "From now on, you should go on a strict regimented no-fun-time diet. You must write from 8-5pm." NO! You say, "It's ok. You're not a bad person. Why is it that you didn't write? Were you tired? overworked? had no ideas? etc. Let me help. We can start now. How about just one word or a paragraph tonight and we'll start fresh tomorrow? We can go to that cafe you always wanted to try and write to the ambient jazz and steaming chai latte." Perhaps the militaristic yelling helps motivate some people. After all, artists work in different ways. You need to find what is "caring for yourself" means. For Seal, she writes better when she's nurtured.

From our experience: Cats come out NOT when they are being yelled at, but when they are coaxed and rewarded. Same with your inner artist. Even if a Cat comes out by yelling at it, it is out of guilt, her head is down in repose, she looks at us timidly, for the next couple of weeks, she's easily startled, she's run out of room when you call, she retaliates by peeing everywhere. She doesn't trust you. Same with your inner artist.

Trust that at the heart of you, you want to create. Trust, that when you feel safe and abundant, you will create when left to yourself. Because you want to reach for something deeper, because it is fun, because it is who you are meant to be. Trust that you will get there. If suddenly you are struck with images of your past failure, trust anyways. Trust that in this next minute, this next second that is yet to happen, you are different than the stories your parents, friends, school, people, and yourself have told about you. Like a broken record, you should change it to a tune that best suits you now. Trust that when you provide the nutrients and safety net you need to create, your creative inner life will ablaze.

It's time to care. for yourself. It's time to give to yourself. Because you deserve it. Because there is something inherently good about you, just as you are, just as a newborn baby should be loved simply because, so should you give to yourself in those ways.

The secret and best remedy for a flower to blossom is the willingness to care and the freedom to grow with wholehearted attention and trust. 

Don't Hold Anything Back

Monkey talks a lot about business sometimes, but even more important over the course of your entire life is the art itself.  Too often we might focus on what is going to take us to the path of the "professional" artist the fastest, when we ignore what might be best for our inner artist in the long run.

We often talk about the "hustle" and the drive to make sure that you get your art out there.  We talk about marketing (Monkey even wrote a book on selling your art), but we want to take this opportunity to emphasize on how important it is to nourish your inner artist's soul.

Yes, we all need to make money, and yes, if we can make money off our art, then we can do more of what we love.  That's why Monkey is always on your case to get your hustle on.  BUT!  The sneaky seemingly perplexing truth of it all is that you have to do more of what you love regardless of your circumstances.  Jobs and opportunities and all that stuff follows if you just do what you love.

Sure, this may sound new-age hocus-pocusy wackiness, but it's true.  The one minor huge caveat is that you can't hold anything back.  If painting is what you love, and you're trying to do a specific style, or if you're trying to stay focused on one single thing (when you don't really want to focus), then you're holding back.  If you feel this overwhelming urge to paint an elephant playing soccer but you have to finish your homework, you're holding back.  If you desperately need to paint something dark and painful from your past, but are afraid to, you're holding back.  If you let people tell you "you're too ____," or "you're not  ____ enough," or "your work is missing ____," and you believe them, you're holding something back.

So you've got to take your brush in your hand and let it explode.  Don't hold anything back.  If you need to attack the canvas, do so.  If you need to coax out the art with a gentle touch, do so.  Whatever form it takes, by embracing that uniqueness, that essence that is undeniably YOU, let it out.  For better or worse, by inhibiting what you really want to do, you'll never really reach the heights that you were meant to soar to.

So while you may feel the pressure to get your hustle on, that is even more of a reason why you need to embrace your inner artist and really let it rip.  Don't hold back.  We know it's scary as hell, but if you're going to dive in, you have to dive deep and really let yourself explode into the awesome artist that we know you are.

So get out there and don't hold anything back.