How to Save Yourself From Burn Out

When I arrived Saturday morning for my weekend painting workshop, I was tired from the week's work - month's work, to be precise. I had taken on one too many calls, one too many emails, one too many art-donation charity events, one too many project, and not taking good care of myself. I was "burnt-out." This is the dark side of the artist life.

When we are depleted of time and energy, so it our creativity and art. We become a snarling animal prodded one too many times and we refuse to perform any more magic acts. Having experienced burnt out before, I thought I knew how to avoid it. I thought I knew better. But it's difficult. The fine line between a fun creative productive artist and a manic overworked "horse" is very thin. Although sometimes there doesn't seem to be much of choice between work/rent vs sustainability/rest, we have to remember - there is always always a choice.

Contrary to the myth that artists are selfish, I think we are very generous - perhaps even too much. We are often taking on projects that are not ours. We make posters for Uncle Steve's bbqs or little Billy's birthday party for no cost. We often volunteer in some creative or mentoring program for the community. People often use artists as a sounding board for idea pitches, solicit critiques, or even rants on personal lives without refilling our energy wells. We, ourselves, often dip into our own well and drain it faster than we can refill it. We say "yes" to the latest social gathering when we really want to be alone with our art. Or quite the opposite, we stay home, when we really want to go dancing but are afraid. In short, we are NICE PEOPLE, but not necessarily honest to ourselves.

But what if I have kids or are in a relationship or have friends who need me? You ask. Surely, they come first before my art? The truth is: we can become better family members and friends when we take care of ourselves and our needs first. When you give to yourself, your energy and time will surprisingly multiply by ten fold.

It's time to think a little bit more of ourselves. It's time to be more selfish. Take care of your artist self. Invest in yourself. "Stop being nice, and start being honest," as writer Julia Cameron said. So you don't want to do this project, DON'T DO IT. Give it to someone else who has the time and is more passionate about it. So you need to stay in instead of a movie date? Take a raincheck. But what about timed events that you have to attend, but may not have energy for, like gallery openings, friend's poetry reading, or billy's birthday party that might make or break your friendship or relationship? Well, take care of yourself days ahead and the morning beforehand, so you have plenty of rest. Wake up earlier in the week before work, or sleep in, or find the time and prioritize your creativity so that at Billy's birthday party or your friend's poetry reading, you are alert, attentive, and present - NOT thinking about your novel or project back home and seething at Billy in resentment.

Self care and freedom is the best remedy for burn out. A little goes a long way. Like buying your favorite soap for $2.99 or warm hot cocoa. Finally watching that movie or reading that book that you've been putting off. Calling a friend who can help you refill the well by listening to you. Freedom from email or phone after dinner. Freedom to rest. Freedom to see friends or go on a run. Undisturbed guilt-free time. It's going to be different for everyone.

At the weekend painting workshop, my teacher Erik Tiemens always seemed very energetic, creative, and animated.

"Attack the paper," he would say.

"Play with the paint, without having an end-product in mind." I don't know if this is true, but I suspect that he will always be young-at-heart and creative because he gives himself the freedom to play.

Our artist self is like a seven year old kid. If we told it to sit still, be quiet, and do your work for one too many times, it will start to rebel. So we need to communicate to them that we'll listen to them. That we will give them a treat for being so good all this time. That we are on their side and it's safe to create again.

Just ask yourself, what do I want? If there are no emergencies, no restrictions, deadlines, or people depending on me and I have the freedom to do whatever, what do I want?

Lessons from Indonesia, pt. 1 - Cut out the Distractions

Monkey here.

After returning from Indonesia, I didn't really expect to experience any culture shock returning to San Francisco. I don't really culturally fit into the rigors of Indonesian communal culture, and finding food that was vegetarian (let alone vegan) was pretty difficult at times, especially since I didn't have access to a kitchen where I could cook things myself. On the plane ride home, I missed my iphone (had it switched off the whole trip), my email, digitally painting or working on websites and the such (we left our laptop and tablets at home), and painting (we just brought our sketchbook and cameras and a hand full of color pencils and pastels).

However, after recovering from some jetlag, I realized how distracted I got as soon as I got back online and jacked in. Emails to read and respond to, facebook posts, uploading photos from our trip, signing up for new artist websites, digital painting, video games, television shows, youtube, ohmygoshtherearesoooomanydistractions now!

While one might argue that it just takes some getting used to again, I was freaking out earlier today as I wasn't used to having to actually do anything. As a guest of a family that provided food and transportation constantly (which can be more frustrating than one might guess), I realized that I just sort of went with the flow and with the notion of choice taken out of things, I just went with it. It was literally like a dream, where you don't get much input, you just sort of go along for the ride most of the time.

Our privileged American life (and seriously, just the fact we can drink our tap water is pretty privileged) is full of distractions designed to keep us bouncing around and not doing our true life's work. We're supposed to stay sedated on great television and celebrity gossip and playing video games that really don't do much for us in life besides take our time away from doing real, meaningful work. I realized that often times we get caught up in the distractions and get manipulated into doing other things than getting down to business.

My point (finally!) is that it is easy for us to let life sort of take us wherever it wants us to go. It's easy to let it steer us from gatekeeper to gatekeeper, and just ride the tide and abandon all hope of taking control of our lives. It's easy to join the mass, it's hard to be yourself.

So my plea is for you to go out and do something today that will wrest the reins back into your own hands. In support of the #OWS movement, you could close your bank account and open an account at a credit union. You could start writing a business plan for that business you've always wanted to start. You could paint or sculpt or create something for yourself. Rebuild your website! Write a manifesto! Do something, anything (it doesn't have to be massive) to help cut out the clutter and find something that YOU want to do and focus on it. Turn off the music and close the Facebook tab, close your email and do something amazing, even if it's a simple as choosing to take a five minute break from work and mediating or walking outside. It's your life, so don't let the distractions overwhelm you! Get to it!

Why Being A Robot is Easier

Life is full of choices. We can choose what to eat for dinner, what to watch on YouTube, and what to listen to while we go jogging. We can decide what we want to paint, or which model to hire, or what sort of landscape you want to research. For the most part, we have agency.

Agency is the ability to make choices. It's basically the foundation that American was founded upon - freedom. Without agency, we'd be trapped in a pre-programmed cycle that is boring, predictable, and completely out of our control. We'd basically be robots. We would do whatever we were programmed to do, function how the overseers would tell us to function. Pretty craptastic life, if you'd ask me.

So while I don't think any of us would want to be mindless robot sheep-lemming creatures sitting in a box, often times we make the mistake of giving up our agency to others. We decide that its a lot easier to go the way of the robots and just throw our hands in the air, close our eyes, and follow blindly.

You see, responsibility is the burden that comes along with agency. If we choose to do something, we have to take responsibility for the consequences. Too many of us want the freedom of agency yet make excuses about not acting how we'd really like to. If you want to get into galleries, you have to send gallery owners/curators your work. If you aren't showing in a gallery, and you haven't sent anyone your portfolio, you can't say "Oh, they wouldn't take me anyway" - that's being irresponsible. You need to take ownership of your life and take responsibility, even (and especially if) that means fessing up: "I'm too afraid to send my portfolio to gallery XYZ." There is nothing wrong with being afraid. Fear is a biological necessity that keeps us from killing ourselves doing stupid things. However, we have to learn when being afraid is holding us back from realizing our potential as amazing human beings.

Lots of time we cut ourselves short and underestimate how great we really are. Excuses prevent us from really growing because it shields us from the sometime harsh reality - we have a lot more agency than we think. While we might constantly give it away with excuses like "I ran out of paint," "my boss won't let me," "the bus was late," we need to take responsibility for our shortcomings so we can overcome them. Buy more paint, or borrow some, or ask for some on Craigslist. Quit your job, tell your boss off, call in sick. Get a cab, steal a bike (please don't), start running.

The scary truth is that we are often at fault. While we don't condone victim blaming here at Monkey + Seal (ie survivors of domestic violence, women being harassed for wearing short skirts, people who are mugged in areas of a city with a higher crime rate), we do think that for a lot of our life if we want to grow and shine and realize our true potential, we have to accept responsibility and move beyond our limitations. The difference between victim blaming and owning up to your life is that if you are a victim, you have had your agency taken away, and if you are a frustrated artist who wants to take your game to the next level, you're giving your agency away.

So, while being a robot is probably a lot easier (they also have laser beam eyes, which is useful for just about everything), you're not a robot. You're not even an automaton. You're a human being with the power and responsibility to shape your own life. Realize that you're stronger/wiser/craftier/talented/amazing than you think, and choose to do something that is a step towards realizing your dream today.